


Yell!

by slashflex



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-06-13 06:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15357954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashflex/pseuds/slashflex
Summary: "Our first meeting was a disaster. And, I don’t mean I bumped into him gently, or I accidentally nudged him to get his attention, nothing like that. Actually, I was trying to avoid him as best I could--you didn’t typically see band members shopping in the grocery store, right?"(x-post from fanfiction.net)





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Short Trigger Warning here for vomit. It's not mentioned in detail but I thought I should warn beforehand. Please enjoy!

 

_Kana_

Our first meeting was a disaster. And, I don’t mean I bumped into him gently, or I accidentally nudged him to get his attention, nothing like that. Actually, I was trying to avoid him as best I could--you didn’t typically see band members shopping in the grocery store, right? Didn’t they have people to do that for them? It wasn’t like he was really concealed, either. His golden locks shone like sunlight under those fluorescent grocery store bulbs, his smile equally bright when a fan noticed him and screamed or waved hello.  I’m not going to lie, I was excited to see him that day too. Or, would have been, if I hadn’t felt so damn bad.

            You see where I’m going with this?

            All I was there for was just some Pepto, ginger ale and plain old saltine crackers to settle whatever had gotten into my system that was making me feel like garbage.  Something that should have only taken a moment or two for me to grab, pay for, and leave with. Naturally, my luck stinks, so I was in the middle of a crowded grocery store that was only getting hotter by the moment, with a pounding headache and a churning stomach.  Not to mention a celebrity within sight that I would have killed to get a picture with. I sighed, leaning onto the cart as I pushed my way toward the front counters. _If I can make it to the cashiers…_

            A few steps later, a wave of nausea nearly put me to my knees, causing me to double over a little in an attempt to keep the contents of my stomach where they belonged.  I squeezed my eyes shut, crouching as I breathed slowly, in and out. _That’s it...Good girl._ Once I got my stomach somewhat under control, I opened my eyes only to see a wide chest as arms scooped me up. I looked up at whoever had come to my rescue, intending to either scream or thank them, or both maybe, but I stopped. Stopped even breathing, for a second there. My stomach turned over with the butterflies, and before I realized what I was doing, my hand was clenched in his shirt, head turned toward him and I puked all down the front of his shirt. The crowd quickly dispersed as he began to carry me toward the nearest bathroom, one of those family restrooms that stores normally have. With no shame, he carried me inside and flipped the lock closed, sitting me up against the wall by the toilet. _Thank God this bathroom is clean…_

            “Are you okay?” He asked gently, brushing a lock of hair away from my sweaty forehead. I shook my head tiredly before turning to the side and puking again, this time in the toilet and not all over us. He helped me after stripping from his dirty t-shirt, holding my hair back and rubbing my shoulders.

            “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my stomach feeling a little better at this point.  I still leaned over it, resting my elbows on the seat and holding my head in my hands. “I am _so_ sorry.” The second apology was a little stronger than the first, but he’d never really know how sorry I was. I was the girl that _vomited_ on a _celebrity_.

            His soft laugh as he ran his fingers through my hair, holding the long strands of my bangs  back from my forehead surprised me. “You didn’t do it on purpose. Are you feeling any better?”

            “A little bit,” I said honestly, sighing and sitting back up against the wall. “I’m just thoroughly embarrassed right now.” I peeked at him through half-closed eyes, noticing that he’d buttoned the loose sweater he’d had on. Thankfully, that hadn’t gotten dirty. “I feel really bad about...well...everything. You can leave, if you want. I don’t expect you to take care of me.”

            “I want to make sure you’re all right before I leave,” he said, smiling as he sat back on the floor, back against the door. His knees were drawn up closer to him, the bathroom not having the kind of space he’d need to stretch out. “So I’ll sit here with you as long as it takes.”

            “You’re way nicer than I would have thought,” I said, shaking my head. “What are you doing in a grocery store, anyway?”

            He grinned sheepishly, toying with a lock of his blond hair, green eyes twinkling behind his thin-framed glasses. “Otoya and Ren asked me to pick up some things this afternoon.”

            I groaned, putting my hands over my face. “Oh, God. They’re waiting on you?” I shook my head. “You have to leave me here so you don’t hold them up. Please. So they don’t hate me.”

            “Let me walk you home,” He said. “And then I’ll leave you alone.”

            “I really don’t want to puke on you again,” I said, grimacing. “But if you insist, I’m not really in the position to say no.”

            He laughed, standing and leaning to pat my head. “Let’s go, okay?”

Once I moved my hands from my face, I took the hand outstretched to me, and looked down at my ruined shirt. “Oh, no,” I said, frowning. “Uh...Well...I can’t take it off.”

“I’ll let you borrow my sweater,” he said.

            “Do you make a habit of letting strangers borrow your clothes?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. His response was to merely laugh sheepishly, shrugging the sweater off his broad shoulders. He respectfully turned around, patiently waiting for me to remove the ruined garment. Once I was changed, I called his name to get his attention.  The sweater nearly swallowed me,but it was warm, and it was comfortable. He smelled _so_ good, and I had never been more thankful that I felt better, at least for a moment. “T-thank you, Mr.Shinomiya.”

            “Call me Natsuki,” he said with a cute smile, tilting his head to the side like a puppy.  It would have been way more adorable if he hadn’t been half-naked at this point, or stuck in a bathroom. People were starting to crowd around the door now, having seen us walk in, but not out yet.  The thought made my stomach turn again, this time in nervousness. I was going to get torn apart by rabid fans, I was sure. “Are you feeling well enough to leave, now?”

            “I still have to buy my groceries,” I said. “But I’m feeling good enough to try now, before I start feeling bad again.”

            He nodded before both of us washed our hands and left the room.  I felt all eyes on me as he led the way to a tourist-y T-shirt rack and grabbed a shirt, tossing it over his head and taking the price tag off to pay for it.  I reached around him, snatching the tag from his hand and making my way to my nearly-forgotten cart of groceries.  He protested, following me to the counter. I turned to him, grimacing at the way the room spun for a moment, and he reached out to steady me. “I really don’t want to throw up on you again,” I started, then shook my head. “Also, I’m getting this. Because I ruined the other shirt.”

            He blinked at me before his bright green eyes softened and he nodded with a smile. “Okay.” The line wasn’t long, thankfully for me, and we were on our way to my house before the nausea hit me again. I sat down against my front door before unlocking it, closing my eyes to breathe, counting to ten and hoping to settle my stomach.  I felt those arms underneath me again, but this time I didn’t open my eyes as he found the front door key and unlocked it so we could get inside.  He set me on my couch gently, sitting me more upright as I tried to get this nausea under control.

            “Don’t you learn?” I asked softly, without opening my eyes. I heard the pop and fizz as he opened a can of ginger ale and went through my cabinets to find a glass for me.  Afterwards came the padding of socked feet and the soft thud of a glass on the coffee table in front of me. “You’re really, really sweet.”

            “You’re really cute,” he said, then chuckled to himself. “I don’t mind helping to take care of you.”

            “Someone is going to take advantage of you,” I said. I peeked at him through half-lidded eyes for a second. “If you keep being so nice to strangers.” I stopped, taking a deep breath that resulted in a hand on my arm. “I think I’ll be okay. But...I wanted to thank you for your sweater.”

            “You can keep it until you feel better,” He said with a smile.

            “Thank you,” I said softly.  I leaned back against the couch, sighing and closing my eyes again. “Tell everyone I’m sorry for holding you up.” I wiggled until I reached my phone in my back pocket, and handed it to him. “If you trust me having your phone number, I can contact you when I feel better and return your sweater to you. Uh. Washed.”

            After some tapping, he handed the phone back to me. “Here. What’s your name?”

            I looked at him then, for just a moment before closing my eyes again and groaning. “I’m so sorry.” I rubbed my face. “My name is Kana. Kana Kijimuta. Despite the circumstances, I’m very happy to meet you, Natsuki Shinomiya.”

            “I’m happy to meet you, too, Miss Kijimuta.”

            “Kana. Please,” I said with a smile.  I looked at him again, just briefly, before reaching out and nudging him with a foot. “Go on, they’ll be calling soon to find out where you disappeared off to if you don’t hurry. And you didn’t even buy anything.”

            He laughed. “I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you, Kana.”

 

 

            The next morning I awoke on my couch, bundled up in blankets with 4 cans of ginger ale and a half a pack of saltine crackers on my coffee table, feeling much more energized and _much_ better.  I was still wearing Natsuki’s sweater, and now that I was properly able to fangirl, I flailed my arms, pressing the long sleeves to my face with a smile that actually hurt if I held it too long.  It still smelled like him, and I sighed dreamily. He really was like a prince, wasn’t he? I wondered, with a little jealousy, if he did this for _every_ girl he saw in distress. Figuring yes, I snorted to myself in the empty room, but quickly assured myself that right now, _I_ was the lucky damsel.  I looked through my phone, eyes widening in realization that _I also had his number_.  I really _was_ lucky.

            My finger hovered above his name in my contacts for a long while, before I finally backed out into the main menu. It was way too early to call him now--not to mention that I hadn’t gotten up yet, or washed his sweater as promised.  I ran my fingers through my salmon-orange hair, a yawn escaping as I stretched and finally stood. Good, I wasn’t feeling nauseous at all, even standing. I looked at the clock, and seeing it was nearing noon, figured I’d go ahead and attempt to eat something, even if it was just buttered toast for the time being.  Showering was first on my list, however, and I went to get a change of clothes, picking my blanket up to throw on the bed on my way to the bathroom.

            After showering, I looked at the sweater, sighing and tossing it into a laundry basket with the rest of my dirty clothes. I made sure nothing else I had could bleed onto it and when I was 100% positive there was no way I could ruin it, dumped everything into the washing machine.  The tinkling sound of my phone ringing followed the rough groan of the washing machine’s startup, and I tossed the basket on the floor in my haste to get to it.  _Nacchan? Oh, shit. He got my number, too? When’d he do that?_

            “H-Hello?” I answered, stomping down my nervousness.

            “Kana?” _Oh, hell, it’s actually him._

            “Speaking,” I said, trying desperately to calm my racing heart and jumpy nerves.   _He’s actually calling me?!?!?_ “Shino--er, Natsuki?”

            “I wanted to see how you’re doing,” He said, and I felt my entire body light up in a savage blush. “But I didn’t want to just show up at your house.”

            “Hah,” I laughed breathily, a little flustered. “You’re too sweet. I’m much better today, thanks.  I actually just tossed your sweater in the washing machine, and I’m gonna cook lunch. Are you around? You’re welcome to join me. And...uh… I guess if any of the other guys want to come with, they’re also welcome.”

            “Y-you don’t have to,” he said, but I heard the smile in his voice.

            “I insist. It’s the least I could do after what you did to help me yesterday. After all, it’s not every day an idol like you takes care of a random girl like me, and I’d really like to show my thanks. I can’t do it financially but I can give you food.” I smiled as I heard the muffled sound of him asking the rest of the band (STARISH, they were called) if they’d like to join us for lunch.  I felt my face turn red at the question, thoughts racing as to what to cook if all 7 of them joined.

            “-na. Kana!” His voice brought my attention back to the phone, and I answered him with a nervous laugh. “It’s going to be Ren, Syo, Otoya and me, okay?” In the background, I overheard a loud, “ _Why do I have to go?!_ ” and Natsuki’s laugh. “We’ll be there shortly, okay, Kana?”

            “Works for me,” I said with a smile. “I’ll see you later, then! Thank you, Natsuki!”

            We hung up the phone and I tapped my chin in thought, then searched my cabinets.  Not knowing how much time I had, I decided to go with just a simple stir fry dish, taking an hour to fix at most, including prep. I gathered the ingredients, tossing them into a pan, my stereo turned up loud (my neighbors all worked or went to school at this time, so I knew the surrounding apartments would be empty). I didn’t hear Natsuki knock when they arrived, so was incredibly embarrassed when the four of them entered my house, watching in amusement as I danced around my kitchen. When I noticed them, I dropped the wooden spatula I’d been singing into, turning the stereo off and hid my face in my hands. “Oh, God. Hi.”

            “A meal and a show?” Ren Jinguji grinned at me under sunset-orange bangs, blue eyes twinkling as he watched the spectacular shades of red that colored my face. “The others will be sad they missed out.”

            “Don’t tease me,” I groaned, dumping a little soy sauce into the pan and stirring it with a different spatula this time. “I didn’t hear you guys knock.”

            “It’s no wonder,” Ren said, gesturing to the stereo. “Do you normally leave your door unlocked?”

            “Not normally, no,” I said, turning the stove off and moving the pan to a different burner so I could get bowls out for us. “I just was...a little under the weather yesterday, and forgot to lock it after Natsuki left.  I’ll admit I’m a little spacey, but not usually that bad.” I grinned at him when he chuckled. “Anyway, you guys have good timing. It’s ready now. Make yourself at home.” I began to fix the dishes as they took a seat at the table. A spot beside Natsuki was left empty for me, and I felt myself blushing as I sat beside him.

            Lunch was interesting, to say the least. They raved about how good my food was (especially Syo, which both flattered and embarrassed me a little bit), Natsuki asking me to cook with him sometime.  Ignoring the alarmed look from the other 3, I smiled at him and agreed to maybe set up a date sometime. Syo and Otoya looked even more horrified, almost comically so, while Ren did little but laugh to himself as he continued to eat.  At this point, part of me wanted to know why they were so turned off by the idea of us cooking together, since I didn’t necessarily believe it was _mine_ they were so afraid of. I almost asked, but made a note to ask one of them when Natsuki was otherwise occupied.  The grin the blond gave me melted my heart and I couldn’t help but feel giddy--there was no way I would _ever, ever_ regret my agreeing to cook with him, I was sure of it.  

            Ren cleared his throat after a moment of what I was sure was just Natsuki and I smiling cheesily at each other, getting my attention.  He gave me a small grin of his own before asking me about myself, clearly amused by the way I stumbled over my words to answer him. It was intimidating, talking to people who had so much fame, and it was easy to forget we were around the same age.  I was just a few months younger than both Natsuki and Ren, who were both 21, and I’d soon be catching up in December. Syo and Otoya were both 19, though looked older.

            “What do you do?” Otoya asked, finishing up his food and pushing his bowl to the side.

            “Mm,” I said, swallowing my last mouthful of food. “Freelance work, mostly. I do logos and things for companies to keep myself above water, but it’s not something I’m interested in doing forever. I’ve got a couple websites I write articles for, as well.” I shrugged with a smile. “I do enjoy it, though, and it pays my bills and puts food on the table.”

            Otoya nodded, grinning. “So you’re an artist? Can I see?”

            I laughed sheepishly, tucking a rogue strand of hair behind my ears. “Sure, I suppose. I like to draw for myself in my spare time, but it’s not quite as good as my logos.” I tapped my chin. “Actually, can I do something else?”

            His eyes widened a little and he cocked his head to the side just slightly. “Oh?”

            “I’d, um...I’d like to draw you guys and get your autograph on it, if I can,” I said, then lowered my gaze. “If you’re willing to let me.  I’ve got to throw the laundry in the dryer so Natsuki can have his sweater before you guys leave--uh, if you’re not on a time crunch today, I mean--so I can grab everything I need while I’m in my room.”

            “Are you kidding?!” Otoya said excitedly. “That’s so cool! You have to give us a copy!”

            The rest of the guys agreed, Natsuki as excitedly as Otoya, getting a smile out of Ren and Syo, though the latter looked a little reluctant.  I nodded, taking the empty dishes from the table and putting them in the sink, and making my way to the washing machine. Transferring clothes took no time at all, and soon I was back in the dining room, equipped with my computer and drawing tablet.  I started on Natsuki first--chibi drawings took the least amount of time, minimal detail but just as cute as anything else I could have come up with.  He watched over my shoulder, and surprisingly I wasn’t uncomfortable with it. The other guys watched in interest, though Syo lost interest quickly, pulling his phone out to surf the web while I drew.  I laughed to myself, looking up. “I have a television and some game consoles you guys are welcome to use, if you’re interested.”

            After a moment of thought, he grinned and nodded, walking into the living room and making himself at home.  Otoya followed him, though Ren and Natsuki chose to keep me company.  Ren made small talk, which didn’t bother me in the least--I hoped the silence wasn’t bothering him, either. I wasn’t a perfect hostess, but it wasn’t often I had company. Soon Natsuki’s chibi was finished, the others coming along quickly behind it, and I smiled when I saw the completed photo, about an hour and a half later. It was a simple thing, but I’d do something a little more detailed for them later on, maybe as a gift to send.  I’d have something like _that_ blown up with all seven of them, but for now, the four of them with autographs would be fine. More than fine, actually. I could die happy.

            Natsuki threw his arms around me once I was finished and printing the photo on glossy paper, his broad chest to my back, cheek pressed to the back of my head. “It’s awesome, Kana, thank you!”

            I laughed. “You’re very welcome. I’m glad you like it.” I bit my lip. “It means a lot to me.”

            “You’re talented,” Ren agreed, patting my hair when Natsuki finally let me go.  “I’d be proud to autograph that for you.”

            “Thanks,” I said, feeling a little embarrassed now.  I rubbed my face, handing Ren the copy for each of them to sign, and each of the others a copy to keep.  I gathered my computer and tablet, heading to my room to drop it off before grabbing the sweater from the dryer for Natsuki. It was warm, and I quickly folded it, holding it to my chest as I made my way back to the dining room.  

            “Lady,” Ren began.

            “You guys are off, yeah?” I smiled at them, tears pricking my eyes. “Thanks for hanging out with me. It means a lot to me.  Seriously.”

            He stepped forward, touching my cheek softly, where a tear had escaped. “You don’t have to cry.”

            “Hah,” I said sheepishly. “Don’t get it wrong, Ren...I’m happy!” I pulled back, wiping my eyes with an arm. “Never in my lifetime did I imagine I’d ever meet you, and now you guys are in my house, and I was able to draw you a picture.  I’m really, _really_ happy.”

            He smiled. “You act like this is the last time we’re going to see you.”

            I blinked at him, then back at the others, who were grinning at me. “It’s not?”

            “Where else am I going to get such great lunch,” he teased, poking my nose, then putting his hands in his pockets as he walked to the door. “We’ll come back.”

            “Oh,” I breathed, grinning widely. “I’m looking forward to it. I'm really excited!”

            They all laughed, each saying their goodbyes and walking out, until it was only Natsuki and I left in the house.  I looked up at him, then remembering I was still holding his sweater in my arms. “Ah, here,” I said, holding it out to him, my face red. “Thank you again. So much.” I giggled nervously. “You smell really good.” At that, I slapped a hand over my mouth. “Shit, that was creepy. Sorry.”

            He laughed gently, reaching out to move and hold the hand I had over my mouth.  His hand was big, and it was warm, and I found myself wishing he’d never have to let go. “Don’t be so nervous, Kana.” He released it, and part of me wanted that warmth back. “You’re so cute.”

            “You keep saying that, but you seem to forget that I was the girl that threw up on you yesterday,” I said with a grimace. “If I were you, I’d be repulsed by me.”

            “I’m just happy you’re feeling better,” he said, and the clear honesty  in the statement was overwhelming. He was just as gentle now as the day he’d joined Saotome Gakuen, wasn’t he? “And your food was really good. We should cook together soon.”

            “Just, um...just call me when you’re ready.” I grinned softly. “I’ll be around.”

            He smiled, leaning down to give me a hug that lifted me off the floor. “See you later, Kana!”

            I waved at him as he left, following to lock the door behind him. Once he was gone, I leaned against the door, my signed picture held to my chest, tears running freely down my cheeks. If I died right now, I’d be the happiest I’d ever been in my life.  
  
  


“Good morning!” I greeted my cousin, Miruka Matsushina that next morning as she drug herself into my apartment. She looked exhausted, and I smiled gently at her, sitting next to her on the couch. “Hard day at work, huh.”

            “Yeah,” She whispered, stretching out on the couch, putting her head in my lap.  She closed her eyes. “Had a few emergencies and I didn’t get much sleep yesterday, so last night was a challenge.”

            “Ah, I’m sorry,” I said, swiping her wavy lilac bangs from her forehead and petting her hair. “Just rest here. I’ll be quiet and still until I can’t, then you can have my bed, okay?”

            “Mm,” she said, putting her arm over my legs like they were a pillow. “You’re comfortable. Do you have everything you need before I pass out?”

            I looked to my side, making sure I had my phone beside me.  I smiled gently, stroking her hair. “I’ve got it all. I’m guessing Shin came for a visit?”

            “He showed up last night before work, unannounced,” She said softly, her voice drowsy. “I try to tell him to call but he never listens.”

            I laughed. “He’s only worried about you, Ruka.  He’s trying to be a good brother, even if he does drop by unannounced.” I patted her shoulder. “Just sleep, and we’ll talk about Shin when you get up.”

            She sighed, nodding, and I picked up my phone, planning to surf the web until my legs went to sleep or she woke up, whatever came first. Sneaking a picture of her, I snickered. She hated what she looked like sleeping--she was adorable, by the way--but I tended to take photos of her anyway.  She was a gentle soul by nature, but exhaustion had her looking older and a little more mean than she actually was. Being a nurse was hard for sure, but it was something she loved, and something she was good at.  Due to her timid personality, she’d have patients that tested her, but with a little tenderness had them wrapped around her finger like everyone else she met.

            The two of us had been close as long as I could remember, playing together at my grandparents’ inn, then together at my house before being called back to go home with her parents.  After graduating, we’d separated for a short time--her entering a nursing program at the local university, and me beginning my freelance working, choosing to stay at home. Business seemed to flow to me, despite what my parents said--most things from overseas, but they weren’t shy to pay, and it helped me learn English as well--and being swamped in work made it hard to stay in touch.  However, when we needed a day to relax, we made time to spend with each other at either her apartment or mine.  Every now and then, Shinobu and Kanon would be there for a surprise visit, so I got to spend time with them too. 

            Then the accident happened, and she wasn’t herself for a while.

            Though, who could blame her? She’d lost both her parents at once and never had the chance to say goodbye.  They’d been hit head-on, by someone doing over the speed limit and very obviously under the influence of something, and it cost everyone their lives.  She called me to tell me, before hanging up and locking herself in her apartment for a few days.  I tried to call, to visit, but nothing convinced her to open the door and I eventually gave up until she felt good enough for my company. The first time I’d seen her, we both dissolved in tears, hugging each other so tightly we couldn’t breathe. She’d become more clingy after that, though I didn’t mind--I tended to be pretty affectionate anyway.

            She started spending a lot more time with me, coming to my house after working a shift just to sleep, playing video games (though she wasn’t good, it was still a ton of fun), critiquing my art when I asked for it.  She would bring takeout every now and then, and slowly started opening back up to everyone else.  Shinobu would start dropping by out of the blue, and after  a few days, she’d come to my house for refuge (though he’d still come by _my_ house when she didn’t come home after a night or so).  He was a worrier, always had been, but even more so after their parents’ accident.  He’d soon go back home to Kanon, and though the visits were nice, it was nice for her to be able to breathe again.

            After a while of reading articles and social media, my phone blipped twice, Natsuki’s name popping up in a text message.  I smiled, pleased to know he wanted to talk to me, as embarrassing as I felt I was. It was a simple query of how I was today, and a cute little drawing of Piyo-chan, a little mascot that any fan knew was his favorite. I smiled at the phone, typing back a reply--the picture was damn cute, I didn’t know he could draw--wondering what was going on that he’d want to text me about.  As if he read my mind, he sent me a photo of himself this time, his hair half tied back, wearing a white button-down shirt (half unbuttoned and I blushed so hard so quickly I felt like I’d been slapped), with a lipstick mark on the side of his neck. “Photo shoot” was the only words to accompany it, and I smiled, trying hard not to wiggle around and wake Miruka in my excitement. He’d made time out of his busy day to send me a picture of him? It was an amazing feeling. I debated whether or not to send back a flirtatious reply, but since we weren’t exactly flirting with each other, I decided against it. I sent back a photo of myself, pointing to my sleeping cousin.   ** _Sleeping beauty_** _,_ I wrote back. **_Cute, isn’t she?_**

**_Your girlfriend?_ **

The sound I made was almost inhuman when I realized I hadn’t mentioned anything about her even though Ren had made a point to ask about family, and Miruka groaned, rolling to the other side and swatting my thigh to quiet down. I apologized, stroking her hair and blushing fiercely. **_Oh! No, she’s my cousin. A nurse. We’re close._  ** I laughed nervously. **_Sorry, lol._**

            He replied with a few smiley emojis, before a **_“Be right back!”_** , and I grinned again.  What had I done to earn something this wonderful? Natsuki Shinomiya was my favorite, _favorite_ celebrity, and had been since STARISH’s debut.  Everything I’d heard about his attitude had been proven true, and it was almost like a dream come true that he was in my life now. I busied myself reading different books on the reader app I had, before my stomach began to growl and I had no choice but to usher Miruka into my room.

            Once she was settled, I went to the kitchen to find something to eat for lunch.  Nothing sounded good that I had, and since I wanted to be more on the quiet side, I decided to run to the store to find something quick. I’d pick up dinner while I was there, since she’d very likely be up at 3 or 4 o’clock this afternoon and hungry.  Shinobu would probably be calling me as well, so I made a note to keep him in mind while I shopped. He loved my cooking, saying it reminded him of their mother’s, so I never minded him joining for dinner.  Leaving a note on the counter for her in case she woke up early and worried, I left, locking the door behind me.

 

 

            “Shinny!” I said happily, letting my broad 6’1” cousin in the door. “It’s nice to see you again.” I hugged him tightly, him pressing an affectionate kiss to the top of my head.

            “Kana,” He said. “Are you taking care of yourself?”

            I rolled my eyes at him even though i grinned and moved to the side. “Yes, I am. What about you?”

            “You know I am,” he said, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at me. “What kind of question is that?”

            “Just makin’ conversation,” I said. “Go ahead and sit down, dinner’s all fixed. Ruka’s showering, cause she just woke up but we can chat while she’s in there.”

            He nodded, sitting across from me at the table. “Any boyfriend?”

            “Geez, you’re as bad as my dad,” I grumbled. “But no. I’m not even talking to anyone right now.” I smiled. “Focusing on myself, mainly. I’d ask you, but uh...I already know the answer.”

            “No,” he said anyway.

            “See? I told you. I know,” I said with a laugh. “I do have a new thing in my collection, wanna see?”

            “Sure, you know I like your artwork,” He replied. “A new logo?”

            “Not exactly,” I said, standing. “I’ll be right back.  Gonna go grab it.” I made my way to my room, where I’d framed the photo and hung it up. I smiled broadly when I saw it, touching the glass affectionately before walking out of the room, and nearly into Miruka, who was coming out of the bathroom.  “Oh, good timing. Come on, Shinny’s here and I want to show him this thing I drew that I didn’t tell you about.”

            “O-kay…” she said slowly, following me while wrapping the towel around her head. I sat at my spot at the table, laying the photo out in an empty spot by Shinobu.  

He raised a brow at me and I smiled brightly, the grin almost hurting my face. “I met every single one of them!” I said before he had a chance to speak. “It’s a crazy embarrassing story but I’ll tell it if you want to hear it.” They both nodded, looking at the autographs and grinning right along with me. “So, I met Shinomiya in the grocery store and kind of puked on his shirt. Then I bought him a new one and he brought me home. He gave me his sweater to wear in the store cause mine got messed up, and so I needed some way to get in touch with him when I washed it, and he gave me his phone number. Like…” I sighed dreamily, putting my hands to my face, blushing brightly. “He texted me yesterday to check on me, and then brought friends cause I cooked lunch and then I offered to draw the picture. They agreed to sign it and they’re so fucking cool, guys, you wouldn’t even believe it.” I giggled. “Especially Shinomiya. God, I love him so much.”

The looks on their faces said it all--shock, amusement, more shock, a little skepticism--and I laughed.  I was giddy, talking about it all aloud. “You’re serious?”  Shinobu was the first to speak, and I nodded. “You know, they could all be acting.”

            “That thought did run through my head but honestly, why would they worry about acting with a girl like me? He really should have turned and run instead of playing hero and I told him so once I got finished throwing up on him,” I said. “But he didn’t. Instead, he stroked my hair and brought me home, and once I was here, hung around for an extra minute to see if I was okay. _Not only that!_ But he _checked on me_ the next day, and even came over for lunch.  Sorry if I’m being really naive, but I’ve had literally zero bad feelings around these guys. Any of them.”

            “I don’t trust any man around either one of you,” Shinobu muttered good-naturedly.

            Miruka shook her head as she helped herself to the dinner I’d set out. “We know. You don’t have to worry about her. I’ve only ever heard good things about Shinomiya so I think we’re safe. No one can pretend all the time.”

            “Yeah, yeah,” Shinobu said. “Anyway, it’s good that you met your idol, Kana.”

            “Mm,” I nodded, smiling to myself. “He wants to cook with me, sometime. I think it’d be fun.” Shinobu raised a brow at me and I groaned. “Shinny, stop with the look. Believe it or not, I am actually grown and I can be in a room with a man, all by myself.”

            “If he does anything to hurt you--”

            “Mmhmm, yep, I sure will call you,” I interrupted. “It’s cool. I wanna be his friend. And he’s made no move on me. The only thing I’ve gotten from him is a picture.” At the glower now on Shinobu’s face, I blanched and held my hands up. “Also of his face! God, Shinobu, you’re really overprotective. Relax. I’ve got knives and I know how to use them.” I picked up a sliced piece of tuna with my chopsticks. “Case in point.” I put the steak in my mouth and looked between my cousins.

            “You should trust her a little bit,” Miruka said, smiling over at me. “You trust me on my own. Mostly.” She looked at him. “Should I be present for this next meeting?”

            After a long deliberation with himself, he finally shook his head. “No. No, I trust you to make good decisions like I’d expect Miruka to make good decisions. Or Kanon, but she’s a teenager and they never make good decisions.”

            I laughed, then, steering the conversation toward the subject of their youngest sister, and off myself and Natsuki. The rest of the night went smoothly, and it was fun just to catch up on what we’d missed of each other. Miruka told stories of her patients, I filled them in on what work I had and was catching up on, and Shinobu talked about the goings-on at home and with Kanon. At the end of the night I sat down to watch something on television, Miruka leaving around 8:30pm for her shift at the hospital and Shinobu excusing himself to go back to Miruka’s apartment as well.  He’d only be staying another day, so he was going back to call Kanon and sleep tonight, promising to come back in the morning if I felt like company. Naturally, I didn't mind. They were the closest family I had--my parents didn't support my freelancing and my grandparents were no longer alive. Being an only child got lonely, but when I had them, I didn't feel like I needed anyone else.

When my phone blooped as the time ticked onto 11pm, I looked at in in surprise to see Natsuki’s name come up. A text? My heart raced at the thought of what I may find, only to see a photo of his smiling face with a follow up of simply, “Goodnight.”

Grinning, I sent a goodnight text back. _Well, if he keeps it up, there may be one more person I need in my life._

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i goofed and forgot they probably don't live in dorms by this point anymore...by the time i realized it i was super far into the story so please bear with me, haha! I hope you enjoy!

_Kana_

            “I’m really nervous,” I said softly to Natsuki, who I followed into the house he shared with the other members of STARISH. They chose to live in a dorm, still on campus at Saotome Gakuen (mainly since they were one of the top bands at the school, second only to Quartet Night).  It was nice for them all to stay together in one place, anyway--they were always swamped with projects to do to rise even higher, and since rumor had it that no one at Saotome Gakuen was allowed to fall in love, it only made sense they’d stay in the same place. Their composer, Haruka Nanami, lived in a girls’ dorm not too far away, so she visited them often. They were all very close, according to Natsuki, since she’d been the one that brought the seven of them together. If all went well, I’d be meeting her for the first time today.  

            “No need to be nervous,” he said, the grin on his face wide like usual.

            Otoya was in the middle of the common room when we walked in, the smile on his face blinding as he bounded toward me. “Hey! I didn’t know Natsuki was going to bring you back here!”

            “I wanted her to meet Haru,” the blond said excitedly.  “And we’re gonna use this kitchen to cook together!”

            I saw the flash of terror once again on Otoya’s face before it disappeared into another grin.”Haruka’s in a meeting right now, but you’re welcome to hang out until she gets back! What are you making?”

            “Well,” I said, and found that talking to Otoya was a little less nerve-wracking than talking to any one of the other members that I’d been introduced to so far. “I talked about making some bentos for everyone for lunch, and Natsuki was going to bake a cake.” At the word “cake”, Otoya visibly paled and coughed, and I tossed a glance at Natsuki. _What is up with those looks?_ “Are you okay…?”

            He laughed it off after a second. Obviously he didn’t want to say anything in front of Natsuki, but at this point, I was a little bothered that no one had mentioned anything to me. He quickly changed the subject, grabbing my hand to lead me toward the room he shared with Tokiya Ichinose, one of my favorite singers of the group. I protested as he pulled me along, my face nearly as red as the tomato in my bag. Ichinose was sitting on his bed reading a magazine, looking over the top as Otoya burst in, nearly yelling his name.  I stood in the doorway, waving tentatively, then holding my bag straps so tightly my knuckles turned white. “Tokiya, this is Kana! The girl that Natsuki met and cooked us lunch that day. And she drew that,” He said, gesturing to the picture he’d hung up on his wall. 

            I rubbed at my face a little, flustered and really just wanting to hide from the attention. He waved at me, catching my attention back to him, and if possible, I blushed harder. “Hello,” he said, then went back to reading his magazine.

            I excused myself to walk back to the common room, where Syo and Ren had both gathered with Natsuki.  I waved to both of them, taking a seat on one of the couches and putting my bag down on the floor.  _Whew, that bag was heavier than I thought it was._ Ren sat down across from me on the opposite couch. “It’s nice to see you again, Kana.”

            “Mmhmm,” I said, then laughed. “This time I’m not gonna cry, though.”

            “Good to hear,” he said with a laugh of his own. “What are you doing here?”

            “Natsuki brought me to meet Haruka,” I replied. “Also, bentos.  I probably should have asked if there’s anything that anyone doesn’t like…”

            “Tokiya’s really picky,” Syo said. “You don’t have to worry about him.”

            “Aw,” I said before thinking. “Okay. Well, I’ll think of something so he’s not left out. What about everyone else?”  After getting everyone’s likes and dislikes, I nodded and smiled, turning to look at Natsuki. “Ready?”

            He nodded excitedly, and I followed him into the kitchen.  As I looked around, I noticed they had a decent kitchen set up, and put my bag down on the counter to begin emptying it. Most of what I had in the bag were ingredients for the bentos--rice, a couple of nice-sized steaks, veggies, that kind of thing--and my favorite spices to use on them.  I didn’t consider myself a professional by any means, but I definitely wasn’t afraid of spices in my food. After leaving my parents’ house (and my mom’s awesome homemade cooking), I found that living on bland foods--the only foods I knew how to cook--was damn boring and started to experiment. Not without studying recipes, and putting in little bits of spice at a time, as to not overpower whatever I was cooking. Slowly but surely, I improved at it, and got to the skill I had now.  I had a long way to go to be a professional, but for being self-taught, I did one hell of a job.

            I hooked up the rice cooker in the kitchen, watching Natsuki look over the recipe out of the corner of my eye. So far so good, I guessed, but didn’t miss the shock of blond hair out the door. Syo was watching us? Did he want to join? I opened up my mouth to call him back, but when I looked out the door he was nowhere to be found. Frowning, I stepped back into my spot, grabbing a cutting board to start on the vegetables.  Knowing that it didn’t take long to prepare the steaks (cooked medium-rare, like steaks are _supposed_ to be eaten), I grabbed a yellow bell pepper and started to slice.  

            I glanced at Natsuki, who was measuring out a cup of sugar.  He didn’t notice me watching, so I kept my eyes on him just a little longer. I wasn’t seeing anything to be afraid of, unless he just burnt the life out of the cookies or cakes he cooked.  Even then, that still wasn’t really any reason for Otoya to pale like he had. I went back to my slicing, moving on to cucumbers and carrots. Once I finished those, it was time to cook the steak.  I grabbed a few things, throwing the steaks into a hot pan and searing the outside of them before about 10 minutes in the oven. 

            Natsuki was still adding ingredients to his cake.   _They don’t...typically have that many ingredients?_  After watching the oblivious blond for another moment or two, I watched in horror as he picked up cayenne pepper to add to it. Cayenne and chocolate? Sure. Cayenne and vanilla? Not so yummy. And, God, he added a _lot_.  

            “Na…” I began, and shook my head. _No matter. If that’s the worst part of it, I’ll choke a bite down. That’s what people do when they like each other, right?_  “Mm. Nevermind. Smells good!” _Kana, you’re going to hell for lying to that sweet man._

“Yours does too!” he said with a smile, plopping in what looked like few cucumber slices from my cutting board. Then more spices--this time I didn’t catch what it was--and stirred it up, looking really, _really_ pleased with himself.  I had to keep from grimacing. Those things didn’t go together...and he had the recipe right there.  He leaned back on his heels, looking down into the bowl happily, then at me. “Want to try the batter?”

            Even with all the fibers of my being screaming _OH GOD NO!_ I smiled at him, taking the spoon he offered me, and licked it, him watching me expectantly. It certainly didn’t taste like I expected it to. Oh, _noooo._ It was much, much worse.

            It was quite possibly the most disgusting combination of ingredients I’d ever tasted in my life, and that was before the cayenne hit and I couldn’t taste anything anymore.  With a cough and tears threatening to stream down my face, I choked out another lie to make him feel better, and turned my back to sniffle and will away the burn.  Oh, God. My idol was literally going to kill me.

            Right now.

            In his dorm kitchen.

            My timer went off, and I grabbed my oven mitts to remove the steaks and let it rest while I busied myself waiting on the rice to finish.  I grabbed a few boxes to start filling the bentos for lunch while Natsuki threw the disastrous cake in the oven. No wonder Otoya and Syo ran away.  My stomach ached from the spice. I could have sworn I tasted some nori in it, and I had literally zero idea of where it could have come from. He looked at me, smiling like always. “Is there anything I can help with?”

            “Sure,” I said with a smile.  “You can divide up the rice, if you want. Or put the veggies in. It’s up to you--I need to cut the steaks.”

            He nodded, walking behind me and doing as I asked, as I began to slice the steaks into strips. Once they were done, I turned toward him, standing at his side and laid a few strips out on top of each bento.  Noticing there were a few leftover slices, I picked one up and held it towards Natsuki, just as he was adjusting the side of his glasses.  The bump of our arms was just enough to knock the glasses to the side and off his face, and my blood went cold at the expression he wore. I’d never, _ever_ expected to see _this_ kind of look on the sweet man’s face, and moved to take a step back.  He slapped my hand away from him, and I took another step back, my heart pounding.

            Oh, no.

            “Don’t fucking try to feed him, girl,” he said, voice deeper and rougher than Natsuki’s normal voice, and the sound of it sent chills down my spine.

            “I’m sorry,” I apologized without thinking. “I’m...I just wanted you to try it.”

            “Are you afraid of me?” His lips curved into a sadistic smirk, his blond bangs sliding down over one of his eyes as he leaned closer to me and tilted his head to the side. He was taunting me now? This absolutely was not the Natsuki I was used to. “You should be, girl.”

            “My name is Kana,” I said, forcing bravado. My voice shook. He didn’t miss it. “Don’t call me ‘girl’.”

            “I’ll call you whatever I damn well please, hussy.”

            “I hope you choke on that damn cake,” I snapped and immediately teared up. _No, I don’t mean that. But who is this man?_

            He laughed, loudly. “Such charm, from such an annoying little _girl_ ,” he murmured, leaning closer still, grabbing the hand that had been holding the steak. “Still want to feed me? Maybe it’ll improve my opinion of you.” He brought my fingertips to his lips, licking off whatever juices may have still been there. My heart rate skyrocketed at that point, and as much as I wanted to hate him, I _couldn’t_.  His tongue was like velvet, and as gross as this really was, I was _enjoying_ it. Maybe it was because only moments before, this pervert had my Natsuki’s face and voice, and I was attached to the image of who I thought he was.

            “Stop,” I said, trying to pull my hand back. He was a lot stronger than I was and refused to let me go.  I tugged, causing him to nip at me, and I could see the irritation in his eyes.

            “Stop? This is what you wanted from him, right?” He said, looking me dead in the eye. “To get him in bed with you?”

            “No,” I said as the timer went off. I managed to yank my hand away, holding it to my chest, face flushed in embarrassment and anger as I looked up at him. “Why are you doing this?”

            “You haven’t figured it out yet?”

            “Figured _what_ out?” I asked.  I tried to move around him, only to have him hook an arm around my waist and slam me back into counter. I winced as I hit. _That’s gonna leave a mark._ “Ouch.”

            “You’re just as dumb as everyone else,” he said leaning back into my face, before arms reached out behind him and slipped a pair of glasses back onto his face.  Immediately, his demeanor changed and he blinked at me, the cold aura from before completely dissolving. “Kana? Are you okay?”

            I looked at him, speechless, shaking my head.  I pushed past him, walking into the common room and sitting hard on the end of the couch not currently occupied by a male body. I paid them no mind, until someone cleared their throat. Oh. Masato Hijirikawa, one of the two remaining members of STARISH left to meet. “Are you...are you alright?”

            “I think Natsuki poisoned me,” I said deadpan as I looked at him, still holding that hand to my chest. I still felt the warmness of Natsuki’s mouth ( _Natsuki? No. What the hell just happened?!)_ and rubbed my hands together. Ugh. I didn’t even stop to wash them. “Uh...I’m Kana.  I’d shake your hand but they’re pretty gross so I’m keeping them to myself before I go back into the kitchen.”

            “Masato Hijirikawa.”

            “It’s very nice to meet you. I’m also very sorry I’m so spacey right now,” I said. “I’ve got food in the kitchen ready to eat, but I had to clear my head a little bit.”

            “I see,” he said, a little smile on his face. “Natsuki baked something for you?”

            “Crap, that reminds me that it’s currently burning,” I said, though didn’t rise from the couch. “Yes. But it’s better to leave it to burn. I almost died, I think.”

            “Hey,” Syo called as he walked into the common room. “Kana, you and I need to talk.”

 

 

            “Okay,” I said. “Okay. Multiple personalities?”

            He nodded at me. “If he takes his glasses off, Satsuki comes out. He’s been there ever since we were kids.” Syo’s face was grim as he looked down. “He’s a genius when it comes to music, but he’s got no patience and he’s hurt a lot of people, so be careful.”

            “Thanks,”I said. “For giving me a heads-up. That was pretty terrifying.”

            “You got pretty lucky,” he said. “Most people aren’t. Haruka was lucky like that, too.”

            “Does he go easy on women?”

            Syo shook his head. “No,” he said. “He doesn’t go easy on anybody. But you and Haruka, so far. He’s not even nice to _me._ ”

            “Yikes,” I grimaced. “Well, now that I know what the hell is going on, I owe Natsuki an apology. Also, I’m hungry.” I looked toward the kitchen. “I just hope that awful Hellcake is burnt.”

            He grimaced with a nod in agreement. “Yeah.”

            We chatted on the way back to the kitchen, where Natsuki bounded to me as soon as he saw me coming back. “ Kana! Are you mad at me?”

            “No,” I said, and smiled at him.  A little forced at first, but genuinely widened when he breathed a sigh in relief and grinned back. “I was just a little flustered when you suddenly were leaning over me.” I didn’t mention the personality thing--he didn’t seem to notice anything was amiss at all, beyond my leaving the room as quickly as I did.  “I just needed a second.”

            He nodded at me, and we sat together at the end of the table, joining everyone else already there. The remaining group member was there, a younger boy by the name of Cecil Aijima. He was exotic, dark-skinned with catlike green eyes and a kind look to him. Not quite like Natsuki, but he was warm and friendly and I found myself quite liking him after a quick introduction.  Through a bit of conversation, I was surprised to learn he was an actual prince, that the rumors weren’t actually rumors at all. And the tattoo on his chest the fans would see every now and then? It was real.

            I looked up at one point to see that Tokiya had a bento of strictly vegetables in front of him and smiled to myself. _Good to know for next time I fix lunch for everyone._ Haruka walked into the kitchen as most everyone was finishing up, and I jumped up, bowing to her respectfully. “My name is Kana, and I’m really happy to meet you!”

            The coral-haired girl (a hair color similar to my own, though mine was a few shades lighter) looked at me, bowing at me as well. She looked a little flustered. “Haruka Nanami. Nice to meet you!”

            I smiled at her, walking forward to grasp her hands in mine. “Natsuki brought me to meet you. I’m sorry to ambush you as soon as you come in the door, but I just wanted to tell you how much I love your music. I’d...um..”I looked toward the kitchen. “I cooked an extra bento for you when you came back, if you want it.”

            Her eyes widened slightly. “Oh! I...okay. Thank you!” She smiled brilliantly.

            “I hope we can be friends,” I said, inwardly cringing at myself. She didn’t seem to mind and nodded instead.  

            “Natsuki’s told me about you,” she said as she put her bag down underneath a chair and sat down. I grabbed the extra bento from the refrigerator and handed it to her, taking the seat next to Natsuki one more time.

            “All good, I hope,” I said without thinking, and got a laugh from most everyone at the table. Natsuki nodded, looking a little sheepish, and I looked at Haruka. I felt myself blushing. “Look, you’re probably going to hear this a lot from me because I’m a huge fan, but...it’s still so surreal that I’ve met you all. I’m in your house!” My voice squeaked at the end, and I looked down at my hands in embarrassment. “Sorry, I’m really excited.”

            A hand atop my head distracted me for a brief second, and I looked up once my hair had been ruffled a bit.  Ren smiled at me. “I’m glad to have met you, too, Kana.”  Natsuki gave a wholehearted agreement, followed by everyone else.

            “You guys really are the best,” I said with a smile. “Thank you.”

            Once I got home that night, Miruka was waiting on me, sprawled on my couch sleeping. I glanced at my clock. _She must not have to work tonight_ , I thought, looking at her.   _She must have been lonely at her house after Shinobu left._  I patted her head gently as I walked toward my room to get her an extra blanket, since she’d fallen asleep uncovered and it was a little chilly in my apartment.  Since it was getting to be late summer outside, the weather was typically nice during the day but got pretty chilly out at night, so my apartment always got a little colder, as well.  It wasn’t too late, around 6pm, but the sun had started to set around 5:30pm these days, and it was dark outside. 

            “Kana?” I heard Miruka say groggily from the living room. “Welcome home.”

            I stepped out of my room, seeing her sitting up and yawning, running her hands through her hair. “Thanks,” I said softly. “Sorry to wake you. You can sleep in my room if you want to, I’m probably going to get some work out of the way.”

            “I don’t need any more sleep,” she said, shaking her head. She smiled at me through the wild mess of wavy hair on her head. “I’ll get a headache. I’m fine.”

            “Gotcha,” I nodded. I grinned. “In that case, make yourself at home, because I still have to work.”

            “Where were you?” she asked, and though the words could have been accusatory, the tone was not. She hadn’t been overly worried, since she hadn’t texted me at all while I was gone.

            I smiled to myself. “Na--Shinomiya came to get me today. I cooked lunch for STARISH.” Walking back out to the couch, I sat down beside her. “It was awesome. I met Hijirikawa, Aijima, Ichinose and Nanami, and I’m honestly still on Cloud Nine.”

            “I’d like to meet Ren Jinguji,” she said. “If at all possible.”

            “I think I can talk them into dinner here,” I said with a laugh. “If nothing else, they seem to enjoy my food, and Ren seems to like me.” I rubbed my cheek. “They’re all pretty friendly and I think I’ve made a good impression, but sometimes it’s hard to know for sure.”

            She nodded, a hopeful grin crossing her face. “That sounds great!”

            We chatted for a second longer, about how my day went with the boys, though I omitted the run-in I had with “Satsuki”--I didn’t want her to worry about me being alone with Natsuki.  Now that I knew he wasn’t batshit bonkers, I was prepared to speak with him again, but this time armed with an apology for how I spoke to him. It was still Natsuki, though a harder, wilder, more aggressive side of him, and the _last_ thing I wanted was for any part of Natsuki to be angry with me.  It wasn’t taking me very long to fall head over heels for the blond and the sooner I got his de-spectacled side to realize I wasn’t a threat to him, the better.  Hell, maybe he’d come to like me, too. I held in a snort at the thought. No. No, I didn’t think Satsuki would come to like _anyone_.  

            I excused myself to my room, grabbing my tablet and computer to get caught up on some work that I’d been putting off for the last day or so, and walked to the table to get set up.  I didn't really have an office here, so I did my work at the kitchen table. Miruka joined me, as she usually did, watching quietly and offering a helping hand if needed. I put on some classical music as background noise, reading over an especially detailed email for a logo I was to draw. They’d pay handsomely for this one, and I was excited to get it finished.  They usually took me a good day or so to knock out, depending on when I got started.  This would take at least two days, since I was beginning on it so late at night.

 

 


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chopped this chapter in half because it was SOOOO LONG.

_Kana_

            The last thing I expected when Miruka and I walked into STARISH’s house was to be nearly tackled in a huge bear hug by a certain bespectacled blond.  It startled a laugh out of me, hugging him back just as tightly. Once he let me go, I looked at the floor, my face a fantastic shade of red (like, so bright I could see my own face glowing). He, on the other hand, wasn’t as embarrassed as I was. Why would he be? We were only friends at this point, and I had no idea if he _liked_ liked me, or if it was only platonic. Not that it mattered, of course, he was still signed with Shining Saotome, and it was strictly forbidden for any of his idols to fall in love.

            “You made it!”

            “I did,” I said, beaming along with him. “This is my cousin, Miruka. The one I was telling you about when you called.”

            “Oh! Nice to meet you,” he said, shaking her hand. “I’m Natsuki Shinomiya.”

            “N-nice to meet you, too,” she replied timidly, her face red also, but not nearly as red as mine. “Kana’s told me a lot about you.”

            “She sent me a picture of you sleeping one time,” he said thoughtfully. “It was really cute!”

            The dirty look she sent me made me grin sheepishly at her. “Sorry, but he’s not wrong.”

            “I’m never sleeping at your house again,” she huffed.

            I laughed at her, patting the top of her head. “It’s not nice to lie, Ruka.”

            Natsuki laughed along with us. “Come on, let’s go! They’re waiting on me, I think.”

            “It’s okay to be here, right? To let non-celebrities back here to have a sneak peek?” I asked nervously.  “I don’t want you to get in trouble with Mr. Saotome.”

            He shook his head. “I don’t think it’s a problem, Kana. I trust you.”

            “Ah,” I said softly. I smiled at him, my heart beating a little faster. “Thanks. That means a lot.” I paused, rubbing my left arm with the opposite hand. “Erm...Natsuki?”

            “Hm?”

            “You mind coming back to my place after rehearsal? If you don’t have anything else to do, I wanted to...um...Well, I wanted to spend some time with you, if that sounds good.” I bit my lip as he looked down at me, then smiled widely.

            “I don’t mind,” he said. “This is the only thing planned today, so I can come over for a little while.”

            “Good!” I mimicked his grin as we all turned the corner and stepped into a large room, a mirror on one wall and a piano in the corner.  Haruka waved at me happily, and I returned it as Miruka and I took a seat on the wall opposite the mirror. A few glances were cast her direction, though everyone got serious quickly and Haruka began to play the medley for her latest composition.  

            Watching them dance, even with little mistakes and accidents, was like magic. There was something about this group that made you feel like you could fly, and I felt myself getting giddy with excitement.  They weren’t even _singing_ and my heart pounded faster with every minute that I watched.  They stopped and started over and over again, but I never tired of watching how hard they were working to make sure this song was another hit.  A couple hours flew by as if they were only minutes, and a sweaty Natsuki grinned at me through the mirror.  I smiled back easily, the feeling in my chest only to be described as head-over-heels love.  

            “Good afternoon, Lady,” Ren said, crouching down beside me, a towel around his shoulders and a water bottle in his hand.  “You brought company.”

            “I did,” I said, throwing an arm around Miruka’s shoulders. “This is my cousin Miruka.  She’s kind of a fan, and asked if she could meet you guys. I’m not one to tell her no, so...here she is.” I hugged her a little tighter, grinning at him. “Besides, I like showing her off.”

            He chuckled at me once I let her go, introducing himself. She shook his hand when it was offered, and her face turned bright scarlet the moment their hands touched. They spoke for a moment or two, Ren excusing himself to go shower. I introduced her to the rest of the group, most of them leaving soon after to go take a shower.  Finally, I introduced her to Haruka, and the two of them connected immediately. The two quickly forgot about me, so I took the opportunity to leave, sitting in the common room by myself, looking at my phone.  I didn’t feel like the third wheel at all, glad that Miruka clicked as well with Haruka as she had. This would make it easier to drag her along with me when I came over, and maybe spend more time with Ren, if he was interested. However, from what I’d noticed, Miruka was similar to Haruka and Ren had a soft spot for the redheaded composer.

            Natsuki tapped me on the shoulder after a moment or two, surprising me a little and causing me to jump.  He laughed quietly. “Are you ready?”

            “Oh...ha. Yeah, I am. I need to go tell Miruka.”

            “I’ll wait,” he offered.  I nodded and waved as I ran back into the rehearsal room, saying a quick goodbye to Miruka. She looked a little like a deer in the headlights, but with a little reassurance from both Haruka and I, she relaxed a little.  I waved to Ren, who was fresh out of the shower and coming back to join Haruka and Miruka.  He smiled at me, waving as I made my exit and headed back to Natsuki. After a brief second, we were on our way to my apartment. 

            “What did you need to talk to me about?” He asked, cocking his head to the side as we walked down the street.

            “Mm,” I started. “It’s something I’d rather talk about when we’re alone.” I felt my face flame in a blush and held my hands up. “I’m not interested in getting in your pants or anything dirty!”

            He laughed, though I noticed his face turning pink in the early evening light. “No, I didn’t think that.”

            “Ha,” I said sheepishly. “Well...that’s good.  I’m really worried of you thinking that I’m some kind of weirdo. We’re spending a lot of time together and I don’t want to get clingy. Like… I know a little about the strict no-romance thing going on with Mr. Saotome and the last thing I want to do is fuck your contract up over a misunderstanding.  STARISH wouldn’t be the same without you. TARISH just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

            He laughed again, and I found myself really liking the sound of it. Which made what I had planned that much scarier--what if my plan went poorly and I never got to hear that sound again? “I see.  I’ll be careful, don’t worry.” His voice was reassuring to me and I immediately felt better. “You’re really worried about me, aren’t you?”

            “I am,” I said with a laugh. “I don’t want you to think I’m crazy but now that we’re in each other’s lives, I’m so afraid of messing any of it up. It’s a really complicated feeling. Also, you’re like, the sweetest guy I know and it’s kind of blowing my mind right now.”

            The smile he gave me was blinding and he hugged me as we got to my apartment complex. “You’re so cute, Kana!”

            I blushed, laughing as he let me go and we walked up to my apartment.  I let myself in and locked the door after Natsuki was inside. Miruka had a key to the apartment, so I wasn’t worried about her being able to get in.  However, looking at Natsuki, I hoped that she waited a while before coming back. I took a deep breath. “Want some tea or something?”  He nodded, taking a seat on the couch as I got started fixing the pot.  It wouldn’t take long to get ready, but I joined him anyway, folding my hands in my lap.

            How was I going to get away with this? He’d probably already picked up on it. Not Natsuki, who thought he was just coming to chill out at my house and drink tea, maybe watch something cute on television or something equally innocent. No, I meant _Satsuki_ , Natsuki’s darker, wilder side, who was a little less naive and a lot more aggressive than his adorable counterpart, but also someone, after the first terrifying meeting, I wanted to see again.  I hated myself, didn’t I? Really, truly, hated myself, and he was probably going to kill me.  After all, Syo had mentioned the enormous number of people Satsuki put in the hospital on a rampage (50,000!), and while that was totally horrifying, I couldn’t help but want to see him again.  Sure, I owed him an apology, but the truth was that I was probably just a masochist. The thought of his mouth on my hand days prior made my heart race, even now, and I knew it as well as anyone else would have known--this was a dangerous thing I was attempting.  Especially being home alone.

            When my thoughts allowed me to return to the present, Natsuki was chatting animatedly about Piyo-chan, making me grin and get just as excited about the little chick.  It really was one of the cutest things I’d seen in a good while. The tea pot began to whistle, and I excused myself to fix our cups. Once I got back, my nerves got the best of me and I spilled a small amount of tea on the coffee table before Natsuki put his large hands over mine, steadying me.  I looked up at him in gratitude before he let go and I was able to put the pot down.  “N...Natsuki?” I asked nervously.

            “Hmm?”

            “Is it okay...if I get a picture of you without your glasses?” I said.  “I know it’s sudden, and probably silly.”

            “Oh! Sure,” he said, reaching up, and I felt myself visibly tense. He didn’t seem to notice, and the minute the nose piece was lifted from his face, the icy aura was back and the glasses flung across the room.  It took all I had not to jump when he leaned over my direction, snarling at me. He didn’t say anything, and I knew _he_ knew he looked threatening enough.

            “Hi, Satsuki,” I said, waving tentatively, though my voice wavered. “I...wanted to talk to you.”

            “Syo told you,” he said, and it wasn’t a question.

            “Yes,” I said. “And...even though our first meeting wasn’t exactly.. _ideal_ ….I wanted to apologize for what I said.”

            “You’re just sucking up to get closer to Natsuki,” he snapped. “It’s not going to work.”

            “No,” I shook my head. “No, I’m actually...I’m interested in you, too.” I smiled weakly at his intense stare.  “C-cause you’re a part of him, and I, um...I wanted to get to know you.” _Crap, I’m nowhere near as confident as I thought I’d be. I’d rehearsed this in my head, too!_ _Man up, girl!_

            “It’s not convincing,” he said. “Do you know how many people would say the same thing in your position? You’re not as honest as Natsuki thinks you are, girl.”  He leaned in my direction, causing me to scoot closer to the arm of the couch.  “Look, you’re still afraid of me, aren’t you? You’re not convincing at all.”

            My back stiffened a little at that, the armrest touching the bruise that was still in the small of my back and I winced, arching back off it.  Satsuki moved closer still, resting an elbow on the back of the couch and an arm down by my side, the side of my shirt brushing his forearm. His chest was only inches from mine, and I felt the danger radiating from him in waves, my heart pounding and breath coming quicker as his knees straddled my own. His size dwarfed mine at this point, and I was acutely aware of just how much bigger he was than I. I gulped, looking up at him, my thoughts racing as to how in the world I was to convince him I wanted something more from him than to say I slept with him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, my eyes meeting his. “I really am, Satsuki. I had no intentions of pissing you off when I brought you out.”

            “You’re annoying as shit,” he said. “And I don’t know why he keeps you around.”

            “Because I’m not what you think I am,” I said. “I want to be his friend, Satsuki. And yours, too, if you’ll let me.” My voice was only getting weaker at this point.

            He snorted. “Natsuki is the only one I need.” He looked down at me. “The look in your eyes tell me everything I need to know about being _friends_ with you.” The arm resting on the couch moved for him to grip my chin in his long fingers. “Your face is flushed, your breathing is hard...you’re _warm_.” He leaned closer still. “You want him, don’t you? Or me? Which one is it? I don’t see you getting this worked up over Natsuki being so close to you.”

            “I’m not...I don’t--” I stuttered, shaking my head to the best of my ability. “I’m not going to lie and tell you that you aren’t attractive but that’s not….that’s not what I want from you.” I frowned. “I don’t know what gave you that idea, but I’ve never once made a move on either of you.”

            “I’ve seen a lot of your type,” he said, his voice low as he leaned close by my ear. I felt his breath on my neck. “Over the past 4 years, Natsuki has been approached by girls just like you, the kind of girls that pretend to be innocent just to hurt him. He’s too kind hearted to notice, but _I_ notice, and I’m not going to let it happen.”

            I opened my mouth to reply, though my words were cut off as I heard the front door creak open, Miruka’s excited voice slightly muffled by the man on my chest, filling my senses. My eyes widened and I shoved him back some due to mostly reflexes, remembering the sunglasses perched on the top of my head and shoving them on his face with a, “We’ll finish talking about this later.”.   Looking around the couch, I saw Miruka’s gaze on Natsuki’s back, then the questioning glance at me before waving it off and walking briskly to my room and shutting the door.  I looked back up at Natsuki nervously, tensing at the idea that Satsuki may not actually be gone yet.  I was relieved to see Natsuki, who was blinking at me through the dark brown-tinted shades, eyes searching my face for a little clarity on the situation.  I chuckled nervously as he said my name softly, questioningly.  Of course he wouldn’t know how he got on top of me...Syo had mentioned he didn’t retain anything Satsuki had done when he was Natsuki.  “This is awkward, huh…?”

            “I don’t really mind it,” he said sheepishly, his face as red as mine. He looked a little distressed as he backed off, sitting down on the other side of the couch so I could sit up. “But I wish I knew how it happened.”

            “I…” I searched for plausible reasons for him to be laying on me like that, and finding none, spotted his glasses beside the television. “Oh! Your glasses. Let me get those for you.”

            He blinked at me, then seeming to realize that the glasses on his face weren’t his, and smiled. “Thank you, Kana.”

            I smiled as I got up, grabbing the glasses. “Feel free to keep mine until we see each other again, okay? That way you’ll be less likely to get mauled by paparazzi on the way back to your dorms.” I plopped beside him again, sitting a little closer this time. “I, um...wanted to see if it was okay that I draw you again?”

            “Yes,” he said with a wide grin. “I’d love that!” He threw an arm around me affectionately. “You’re always so nice, Kana!”

            “Hah,” I said, shaking my head. “Not really, but thank you.”

            “You’re nicer than you think you are,” he said. “I really like you, Kana.” His voice took on a more serious note, and I managed a nervous grin at him.

            “I..really like you too, Natsuki,” I said. “But...not to be a party pooper…” I trailed off and he nodded. “You know what I’m going to tell you already.” I looked down at my hands. “But that’s not to say I’m not going to come see you anytime I can, because you guys are really fun to hang out with.”

            He nodded, then grinned brightly. “Our show is in a few more days, why don’t you and Ruka come to that? We’ll make sure you get in backstage, no problem! And after that we can go do something?”

            “Absolutely!” I said excitedly. “I’ve always wanted to go to one of your shows.” I leaned up and kissed his cheek, against my better judgement. “I’d be honored to go with you backstage.”

            After a moment or two of conversation and my seeing him to the door, I sighed to myself, giddy as always after spending time with the gentle blond. Miruka stepped out of the bedroom, resting her hand on the door frame, raising an eyebrow in question. “What exactly did I walk in on?”

            I chuckled sheepishly. “I wanted to get a close up, so I could draw him…” My voice wasn’t as convincing as I hoped it would be, and since Miruka wasn’t an idiot, she caught on to it. She shook her head and with a demand for the _whole_ truth, I sighed. “Okay. There’s more to him than meets the eye…” I explained to her briefly about Satsuki, following it up with a, “Please don’t tell Shin, I don’t want to hear his bitching at me.”

            “Don’t worry,” she assured me, shaking her head. “Besides, I’m really interested in Ren, so if you keep my secret, I’ll keep yours.” She grinned at me, walking to the couch with me to relax and watch something on the television. “We had a really good time, by the way. Thank you.”

            “Hah,” I said. “No problem. I just hope you’re a little less awkward around him than I am Natsuki.”

            She laughed to herself. “Well, I’m not so sure about that...But he didn’t seem to mind.  We talked about you.”

            “Yikes.”

            “No, no, nothing bad. They enjoy your company. Then we talked about my job and things. I guess it was kind of mundane small talk but as boring as that could be, we had fun. He said he’d like to see me again.” She giggled to herself, shaking her head. “Shinny would hate him, ya know.”

            “For sure,” I said with a laugh. “To be fair, he’d hate anyone that was interested in you, but he dislikes Ren’s type of guy most of all.” I snapped my fingers after a moment. “Oh! So, Natsuki gave us both personal invites to go backstage at their show next week.”

            “Ooh, I’ll have to make sure I have someone to cover me,” she said. “But I’ll make sure I come.”

            I threw my arms around her in a hug, grinning from ear to ear.  “I can’t wait!”


	4. Chapter Four

_Kana_

I sighed in irritation at the computer screen for the tenth time in as many minutes, bound and determined to finish the logo I was working on before attending to my drooping eyelids.  It had been two full days of sitting at the table, tablet pen in hand and Photoshop on the monitor and... _nothing_. Nada. Zip. I was starting to lose my patience with it, if I was being honest. Sure, I hadn’t just spent the time _staring_ , there had been attempts and sketches, some linework had been started but erased because it looked even _worse_ without the initial sketch under it. I rested my head in my hand, then rubbed my eyes with the heel of it to try and will away some of this tiredness.

            None of this was working.  There were other things I’d have rather been drawing, and not only was _that_ distracting, but I hadn’t spoken to Natsuki other than a quick “good morning” and “goodnight” text, and I missed him already.  It was funny how, over the course of just a few weeks, he came to mean so much to me. As crappy as our introduction to each other was, I wondered if I would have met him at all if it hadn’t happened that way. My computer beeped at me with a message on the messenger I typically had up while drawing, catching my attention and I looked at it with blurry eyes.   _Oh. Client._

My heart dropped into my stomach as they asked how their logo was coming, and expressing how they’d really like to see it done in the next few days. I answered back as nicely as I could, letting them know I’d do my best to have it done the next day. I’d have to--STARISH’s show was the next day, and I’d promised myself I’d have most, if not all, my work done by then so I’d have no reason to rush off after the show. Thankfully, they took my answer well,  seeming to be happy with the quick response, and I sighed in relief, this time.  I tabbed back into my drawing program, putting the pen to the tablet and drawing a very light sketch absently.  

It took off better than I had hoped, inspiring me to go ahead and knock out my lineart and coloring while I still had everything still out. Sitting back and looking at it, I grinned to myself, nodding. This would do. I hoped the client liked it, and jotted a short email with the logo file attached before stretching and closing my laptop.  The house was empty tonight, with Miruka gone to work, and I looked at the clock.  9pm...still early. I grimaced.

What was there to do around here? Of course I wanted to text Natsuki for a while, but with their concert coming up, I wasn’t about to bother him.  I looked at my phone. Well...he _did_ tell me he wanted to know when I finished up my work… I reached for it, shooting a quick message to Miruka to let her know I was totally caught up. Once that was sent, I searched my contacts for Natsuki’s name (nickname,   _Nacchan~)_ and my finger hovered over it.  Should I? What if he was busy? He didn’t care to hear from me all the time…

Against my better judgement, I sent the text, but made sure to follow up with a, “ ** _You don’t have to write back, have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow!”_**

The phone blipped at me within minutes, with the reassurance that I wasn’t bothering him and he was glad to finally hear from me.  I smiled to myself, getting ready to text back with something mundane, just to keep his attention, when my phone vibrated in my hand with his picture and name on the front screen.  My eyes widened, but I answered, punching down the excitement in my chest and struggling to sound cool. Not that it was really a thing that was possible, but I could pretend.

            He didn’t seem to notice, filling me in on practices and just anything in general.  It was like I’d known him forever, and conversation flowed easily between us, an hour passing before I realized just how much time had gone by.  I sighed, looking at the clock once more. “Ah, as much as I love talking to you, I have to make like an old lady and go to bed.” I smiled.

            He laughed. “I can’t wait to see you again,” He said, and I blushed all the way to my toes.

            “I can’t wait to see you either, Natsuki,” I said. “I’m stoked about the concert tomorrow! I can’t wait to see how hard you all worked on it.”

            He agreed enthusiastically, setting up a time to meet the next day, allowing Miruka and I to get there early and sneak backstage before the rest of the crowd got there. I hung up soon after, the words ‘I love you’ on the tip of my tongue. I swallowed them, knowing that it was habit--I told all my friends I loved them before I hung up the phone--and looked down at the screen.  I had it bad, didn’t I? This lovesickness.

            It was dangerous. It was possibly detrimental to Natsuki’s career, and it may be better if I didn’t feel this way about him.  I stopped for a moment, my heart thumping hard at the thought of not seeing Natsuki again, and physically shook my head. I couldn’t quit him. It was selfish, and I felt like an ass, but I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it (or, only seeing and hearing from him through the television or a CD). I needed him in my life more than I realized.

            I stood, stretching and walking to my bedroom, throwing the phone on my bed as I walked into my adjoining bathroom to put my pajamas on for bed.  I was giddy, so I didn’t expect much sleep, but it didn’t hurt to try.  Before going to sleep, I sent him a quick goodnight text, taking a selfie to attach and smiled to myself. He sent one back of himself, and I giggled in delight before plugging the phone into the charger on the wall and setting it down on my nightstand.

* * *

 

 

I was greeted by a tight hug when I walked into their dressing room, treats for everyone  in tow and Miruka following nervously behind me. Juggling the treats so they didn’t fall, I hugged Natsuki back and awkwardly patted his back as he took the pan from my hand and snuck a kiss on my cheek before walking away to set it down. I blushed fiercely, looking at him as if he’d grown an extra head before Otoya clapped a hand on my shoulder and grinned at me, getting my attention.

“What did you make today?”

“Something for everyone. If I didn’t know what you liked, I tried to make something that fit everyone individually.  I could have asked Natsuki, but I didn’t want to spoil it for him, too.” I smiled at him. “Come on, I’ll show you! I hope you like what I made.”  He followed me to the table, where Natsuki was looking at the desserts on the pan.  I grinned up at the blonde, pointing to a yellow-decorated cupcake. “You like cakes, so that one is yours, Natsuki. It’s got lemon. And...Otoya, yours is strawberry.  Since Ruka mentioned Ren doesn’t like chocolate, I made him coconut macaroons. I wasn’t sure about Cecil, so I went out on a limb and made something a little plain but decorated it so it was personalized.” I pointed at everyone’s dessert as the rest of the group gathered around. “Um, Masato, you and Tokiya were a bit harder to come up with something for...but I remembered that Tokiya, you like fresh fruits and vegetables, so I made you a parfait with yogurt and some honey to sweeten it. Masa, you have some truffles. Syo, for you I made some eclairs.” I looked around at them, blushing. “I um…I know it’s all sweets, but I thought that after the show you may want a treat of some kind. I hope you like them.”

“She worked really hard on them,” Miruka said softly, walking up behind me and putting an arm around my waist.

“Haah, it was nothing,” I said with a wave of my hand. “As long as you enjoy them I’ll be happy. I’ll..uh..also have to have you guys come over and get more if you do, because I have a kitchen full of sweets I don’t need to be eating.”

It wasn’t long before everyone had a personalized treat, sampling one before the concert even began, and excitement bubbled up in my chest.  I looked at Miruka, grinning despite myself and smiled at the reaction I got. I noticed even Tokiya poking around in the parfait and had to punch down a delighted giggle. _He’s even trying some now…!_  Natsuki’s face glowed as he beamed at me, telling me without words how much he appreciated it.  They each said a thanks of their own before having to go actually get dressed for their show.  We were ushered out of the room for a short time, and I took the opportunity to do a little dance before we were in their company again. Miruka laughed at me and shook her head.

“I told you not to worry,” she reminded me gently. “You really underestimate your ability to cook. And after as much work as you poured into them, there’s no way they could have refused.”

I nodded. “You’re right, you’re right,” I said. “I worry too much. Aah, I’m so happy.” I put my hands to my face and leaned closer to her, lowering my voice. “And Ruka, he _kissed my cheek_.”

She laughed at me. “Congratulations.”

“I’m never going to wash my face again,” I joked, and she shook her head. “Too creepy? Yeah. That was too creepy.” I ran my hands through my hair. “Get it together, Kana!”

“You realize you do this every time you see him,” she said to me, cocking her head to the side. “I worry about you.”

“I’m fangirling hardcore, Ruka,” I said. “I can’t help it! I really like him. And the rest of them. And I especially like when people that I really like, enjoy my food. So there’s that.” I sighed. “They’re all amazing.”

She laughed. “Calm down. They’ll notice if you’re flustered.”

“As if I’m not flustered every time I see them,” I muttered.  I sat down with my back against the wall. “I still feel like this is a dream. Pinch me.”

She raised an eyebrow at me before leaning down to squeeze my nose shut, and I swatted her off with a yelp, making her laugh. “You told me to pinch you…”

I sneezed, then gave her a dirty look. “Okay, wiseass, I’m not dreaming.” I sneezed again, rubbing my nose. I laughed to myself. “I’m so happy, Ruka. I’m really glad you get to experience all of this with me.” I laughed again a little bit louder, with a little bit more amusement. “And to think I’m attending a STARISH concert with VIP tickets and cooking for them because I puked on one of their members.” The story was absurd, the more I thought about it. Things never happen like this in real life, do they? I giggled a little more, Miruka joining me this time. “What a story, right?”

“Only you, Kana,” she said with a grin at me, and I nodded in agreement as Masato poked his head out to get our attention.  I shared a smile with her, hooking my arm in hers as we walked back into the room.

We weren’t there long before the venue personnel came to get everyone and walk backstage. Natsuki walked in step with me, catching my hand in his and smiling down at me. I looked up at him with a grin of my own. I squeezed his hand before loosening my grip, though he didn’t, and it gave me butterflies. Wasn’t he afraid of someone seeing? Shining Saotome, for example… He linked his fingers in mine, the gloves he wore taking some of his natural warmth, though it wasn’t completely uncomfortable. I blushed, but didn’t try to move. I’d be a fool to.

            Once we got backstage, he was ushered to hair and makeup (not that I saw much point in that, since they were likely going to be all sweaty by the time the concert was over).  Miruka walked up behind me, poking my side and smiling at me, and I flushed red from top to bottom.  She was going to tease me about this… I looked down at my hands with a secret smile of my own and the butterflies fluttered harder in my belly. Miruka chatted with Haruka briefly and I took the time to turn my phone down to silent and snap a few pictures. Not that they were going anywhere but on my computer, but I still wanted to have the memories. I got a few candid shots of Masato and Tokiya, along with Otoya and Cecil goofing off in the other corner of the room.  Ren was harder to catch off guard, and he smiled at me behind a macaroon, winking as he bit into it. I laughed, shaking my head and turning the camera to Natsuki, who now was talking animatedly with Syo. The latter waved at me, grinning widely, and Natsuki merely looked surprised. Haruka looked like a deer in the headlights before smiling, and Miruka threw up two fingers in a V. I snickered to myself, flipping through the pictures when I was finished taking them, and slipped my phone back into my back pocket.

 The venue personnel called the seven idols into a short meeting--where they were to enter the stage, where to exit, and soon we were counting down the last five minutes until time to go on stage. Natsuki stood beside me in silence for a bit, my nervousness getting to me. I finally looked up at him and flipped a lock of his wavy hair to get his attention. “Good luck, Nacchan!”

He smiled widely and nodded enthusiastically before giving me a swift hug and being called to get into line with the rest of STARISH and enter the stage. I watched from the side of the stage--where I could see perfectly but not be seen--in fascination, the way they danced together. The harmony of their voices together sent chills down my spine and my heart pounded. It was easy to get pumped up listening to them perform. I danced along--admittedly not very _well_ \--and even got Miruka dancing a little with me. I hadn’t had this much fun in a long time.  

The hour and a half-long concert flew by, and as they all ran offstage to go to the poster signings/meets and greets, I high-fived everyone, my grin as wide as theirs.  This would only be open for a couple hours, so we made arrangements to meet the guys at a local restaurant. After leaving the venue, Miruka and I decided to waste a little time window-shopping while we still had daylight, enjoying the time out.  She didn’t have a lot of time, and really, neither did I.  It was nice to just relax and de-stress, even for just a day. 

Neither of us had a ton of money to spend, but she ended up picking up a little something for Kanon, and I grabbed both a Piyo-chan keychain and phone charm for both Natsuki and myself. At Miruka’s look, I tittered nervously, avoiding eye contact and tucking the small bag in my pocket.  Part of me hoped he didn’t give me funny looks for buying matching things as if we were a couple, though even if he didn’t use his, I’d use mine. Upon leaving the store, I braved a look at her, making her laugh.  Tensing slightly, I waited for the gentle ribbing that normally followed, but surprisingly there was none.

“It’s been a long time since you’ve felt this strongly about someone, hasn’t it?” she asked, her voice a soft contrast to the loud sounds of crowds and traffic behind her. My eyes widened and I met hers, soft as she smiled at me. “It’s really cute, Kana.  I was worried about you.”

            “Ahhh, worried like how?” I asked. “I’m not...have been way too busy for a boyfriend.”

            She laughed. “Mm, I see.” She hooked an arm through mine. “You don’t have to talk about it, you know. I’m not asking you to. It’s just nice to see your eyes light up like that again.”

            “Gah, Ruka, you’re going to make me cry,” I muttered, looking at the ground. “Shinny still doesn’t know, right?”

            “No. Not until you give the okay,” She responded.

            I smiled at her. “Good to know. I don’t think he’d forgive me for hiding that from him.”

            “Aha, he probably wouldn’t.”

            I stared ahead, sneaking a glance at the clock on the front of one of the buildings downtown.  It was getting time to meet the guys at the restaurant, and I felt a sense of relief in my chest.  It had been a long time since I’d thought of _him_.  His name was Takeru, and he was my first boyfriend. He was my first true and real love, and for a while I was enthralled by him.  He had been older, cooler, and I’d followed him around like a puppy.  And for a while, he was nice to me. Of course, that quickly went to shit within a few months of being with him. He never hit me, but he tore me down with his words, leaving me a puddle of tears in corners more than once.  He put on a front in the company of others, leading me to believe that maybe _I_ was the one causing these problems for him, and maybe if I was a better girlfriend, he wouldn’t yell at me. So I tried harder.

            And it still didn’t stop those hateful words. Months, then a year went by. And still the hate and cruelty didn’t stop.

            Miruka was the only one that knew, and she was the encouragement I had needed to leave him.  Leaving him was the best thing I could have done, and I rarely looked back on that time. I still had some scars, though mostly healed, and I could fight my way through them.  I sighed to myself, thinking back to Satsuki’s harsh way of speaking.  Would he become the next Takeru? It was going to be a detriment to me if I kept wanting to see him. Natsuki’s face flashed in my head. But if I saw Natsuki more than Satsuki, it was worth those words. Because the one that really mattered to me wasn’t the one saying them.

            God, I was in deep, wasn’t I?

            “Hey,” Miruka said softly. “I’m sorry.”

            “Huh?” I looked at her. “Oh. Oh, no. Don’t worry about it, I was just thinking.”

            She winced and hugged my arm. “I’m even more sorry now,” she mumbled.

            “Mm, I’m not upset,” I said with a smile. “I was thinking about Natsuki and how he’s nothing like _him_.  It’s nice, to have somebody that genuine in my life.” I patted her hand and knocked the side of my head into hers gently. “Not saying you’re not genuine but you get it.”

            “I do,” she nodded. “You’ve healed.”

            “I have,” I agreed. “I just have to be careful around Satsuki.”

            “Mm,” she said with another nod. “Yeah. But you’ll be fine.” She smiled at me. “I have faith.”

            I grinned at her. “Hey...let’s go get food, yeah?”

            She laughed, letting go of my arm and putting her hand in mine. “You’re always hungry.”

            “Ugh, _always_ ,” I groaned with a dramatic eye-roll as we began our walk toward the designated restaurant.

            Dinner was a blast, Otoya, Syo and Natsuki lively as usual, with Cecil joining in on the fun.  Ren watched in amusement, talking quietly with Miruka, who I insisted sit next to him.  Haruka sat on the other side of me, and I spoke with her, getting to know her a little better now that we weren’t in a rush. I saw why each of the guys in the group loved her as much as they did, and smiled to myself. Ahh, she was cuter than she realized. My eyes drifted to Tokiya and Masato, who were talking quietly amongst themselves.  I could definitely get used to this. I met Natsuki’s eyes and smiled at him. 

            After a while of talking about really anything, I had to stifle a yawn as big as my head, the look on my face making Natsuki laugh.  He gestured to me, standing up. “I’ll walk you home?”

            “S-sure,” I said with a smile at him. “Ruka, is that alright? I’m sorry I’m leaving you behind so damn much lately.”

            She waved me off with a laugh. “It’s fine. Ren and I are enjoying ourselves, and you look beat. Go ahead.”

            “You’re the best,” I said, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. “I love you. See you later, darlin. You’re staying with me, right?”

            “Mmhmm,” she said, nodding. “I’ve got a key. No worries.”

            I looked at Natsuki, smiling to myself. “We can go.” He wasted no time in slipping a hand in mine, leading me out. My face turned about the color of a fire engine, but I didn’t let go, especially when his fingers entwined in mine. His hands were so much nicer outside a glove. The thought made me grimace internally. _Way to be hella creepy, Kana. At least you didn’t say that out loud._

            Once we were outside, he slowed his pace and I was able to catch up. I looked up at him. “You’re too nice to me,” I said.

            He laughed. “I really like you.”

            “And you keep telling me that,” I teased. “You’re not the kind of guy to leave a string of broken hearts in your wake, are you?”

            He shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t...”

            “I was kidding,” I said. “It’s a good thing to know.” I looked at the ground, biting my lip. “I have really bad control of my heart, and sometimes I fall for less than decent fellas...so forgive me if I say that a lot.”

            “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” he assured me with a squeeze of my hand. “So don’t worry, okay?”

            “Oh, I’m gonna worry. But not about your character.” I sighed. “About Shining Saotome.”

            He shook his head. “Don’t.”

            “Sheesh, easier said than done,” I said with a grin. “But since you’re not worried, I’ll try not to.”

            We walked in silence for a few moments, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. I enjoyed the closeness of him, just being with him was enough for me. He stopped on a bridge close to my apartment, looking at the darkened sky and the stars that littered it. “I’m glad I met you, Kana.”

            “I’m still in shock,” I teased. “But I’m really glad I met you, too.  I…” I looked down at the railing of the bridge. “I actually...got something for you, Natsuki.” My face flamed in a blush and I was glad it was dark outside, though I was sure he could probably still see it.

            His eyes widened in surprise. “You did?”

            “Mm,” I nodded. I reached into my pocket, pulling out the matching phone charms and keychains. “I, um...I wanted to match. I know it’s silly.”

            “N-no! It’s not,” he said, eyes lighting up. “It’s Piyo-chan!”

            “I know how much you love him,” I said with a laugh as he scooped me up in a bear hug.

            “Thank you!” He pulled back, looking at me with a flush of happiness on his face. He seemed to be wrestling something within himself, before he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I squeaked in surprise, him pulling back almost immediately, eyes wide. “I’m sorry..!”

            “No!” I said, shaking my head. My head was reeling. “No. Don’t apologize.” I laughed, hugging him around the waist. “God. No. I’m happy.”

            He put shaking hands on my cheeks, lifting my head up to look at him again. “Oh.” His voice was a whisper. “Good.”

            This time, I was definitely ready for the kiss that followed. I smiled against his lips, arms tightening around him.   _He really does like me as much as I like him…_ My heart pounded against my ribcage, so hard I’m sure he could feel it against his own chest. _This was the perfect way to end the night._

 

 

 


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty short chapter, and in Miruka's point of view instead of Kana's.   
>  I hope you enjoy! <3

~Miruka~

I smiled at Ren nervously, toying with a strand of my hair as we walked out of the restaurant, having lagged a little behind everyone else. The  rest of the group paid their respective checks, waving a goodbye at us, with Ren promising to catch up soon.  He wasn’t in a hurry, and I was relieved. He smiled down at me, blue eyes twinkling gently. “There’s no need to be so nervous around me, little lamb.”

“I...I know,” I said. I gave him a smile of my own. “It’s something I share with Kana, I’m afraid.”

“I see,” he said, and I heard the amused lilt to his voice. “Would you like me to walk you home?”

            “I...would actually love that, if you wanted to,” I said softly. “You don’t have to, if there’s somewhere else you need to be.”

            He shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t have offered, if I had somewhere else to go, would I?”

            “No...no, I guess not.” I laughed nervously. “I’d be happy if you did, then.” We began our walk towards Kana’s apartment, quiet but content.  I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, wringing my hands in front of me. He was cool, suave, with a voice like liquid gold. “You’re so nice, Ren.”

            He chuckled lightly. “Thank you. I think you’re nice too.”

            My face heated in a blush. Small talk was so hard, wasn’t it? I kept my eyes on the ground in front of me for a moment as I thought. It was very much my job to make small talk with my patients, to help them feel more comfortable away from home, but once I got out of work, it was so much harder.  Kana was absolutely more sociable than I was, and I found myself getting a little awkward without her there to help break the ice.  Thankfully Ren didn’t seem to mind, though I was pretty sure he was used to it.  Stopping at an intersection, I looked around at the streets in town while waiting for the lights to turn. It was busy tonight, wasn’t it? I tossed a glance at the man standing beside me.  It was because of them, for sure.

            “You’re right,” he said out of nowhere, and I looked up at him in curiosity. He smiled at me, eyes twinkling as he gestured to the cars passing. “You said it was busy. I thought you were talking to me.”

            “Oh,” I said softly, my face burning. “I must have been thinking out loud.” I laughed nervously. “I’m not used to seeing this many cars on the road at this time of night.”

            He chuckled, getting ready to speak again when we heard it, and the words died on his lips as we watched the intersection in horror. A car was speeding on the wrong side of the road, the car small and fast enough to catch another car head-on, smashing the hood and flipping it clear over the other car.  My eyes widened in unconcealed terror, and I couldn’t stop the gulping sob that escaped my throat before throwing a hand over my mouth to muffle the sounds.  Ren spun me into his chest, an arm around my shoulders, the other on top of my head, leaning down to whisper calming words in my ears and drown out the sounds of sirens.

_God. Not again._

_Not now._

My shoulders trembled as I fought the urge to succumb to the panic attack I felt coming on,  trying to breathe normally through sobs that _hurt_ , squeezing my eyes shut as I clung to him, burying my face into the warmth of his shoulder.  I didn’t have the mental capacity to be embarrassed now. It was my parents, all over again.  Some other poor soul would have to go through what I did. And even though I was a nurse, I could never be a first responder to a scene like this.

            It seemed like ages until we heard sirens and Ren turned me the other way, making his way through a crowd that had formed. He made sure my face was covered the whole time, and once we got to a clear street, took my hand to lead me away. I tossed a glance over my shoulder to see the paramedics swarming around the car and prying a back door open to retrieve a child.  They were crying. Not hurt. My shoulders sank in relief, but I wondered if they’d have a parent to go home to.

            “Hey,” Ren called softly, tugging on my hand. “Come on.” His voice pulled me from my thoughts and away from the horror in front of me. “Let’s go.”

            “I want to go home,” I murmured before I realized what I was saying.

            “Home?”

            “Not Kana’s,” my voice was a whisper. “I need to go home.  I can’t go to her house like this.”

            He nodded, eyebrows furrowing in concern at my changed demeanor. “I’ll...take you there.”

            “Please.” I looked up at him. “Can I...Can I lean on you tonight?”

            “Of course,” he said. “I...yeah. Let’s go. You’ll have to tell me where it is.”

            I nodded, the rest of the trip to my apartment a blur as I tried my hardest to keep it together, at least until I was behind closed doors, preferably alone. However, I didn’t expect my composure to stay intact that long, and fully prepared for a meltdown as soon as I got inside. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and it wasn’t long before he slipped his fingers between mine for a little more support.  I hated to admit it, but I almost didn’t notice it.

            I reached the door, dropping the keys a few times before he walked up behind me, putting his hands on top of mine and whispering calming things in my ear to help me at least get the door unlocked.  I breathed a “thank you” at him and walked in, immediately curling into a ball on the couch.  My heart sank out of guilt, though he didn’t seem fazed at all, sitting beside me. “Hey. Ruka.”

            I merely looked at him, feeling like I was looking through him.  I felt almost dead inside, and even after therapy to deal with the loss of my parents, I was taken back to the day they died. “I’m so sorry.”

            “Can you talk to me about it?”

            I was silent a long time. “You know I’m a nurse, right?” I said to him, then let out a wry laugh. “Kind of an embarrassment. I’m trained to deal with all sorts of things, taught to leave work at work and do the best to relax when we get home. It’s always a shock when nurse mode is not switched on and something happens.” I got quiet and he reached for my hand.

            “It’s not embarrassing,” he said softly. “Anyone else would feel the same way.”

            My heart started pounding again, my vision spinning for a moment and I took the hand that was offered, scooting closer to him. “It takes me back to a bad time, to actually see something like that.” I stopped again. “My parents died like that.” I shuddered, my breath coming more shallowly as I thought about it, the vision of the accident playing and replaying almost in front of my eyes.  It was like nothing else existed, and it rattled me to my core. “It’s horrifying and I was messed up for a long time. I’m still messed up…”

            He was quiet for a while before shaking his head. “I’m sorry,” he said, and even though that was all he said, it was enough.  His hands went to my shoulders, squeezing gently, and I leaned into him before I thought about what I was doing. He stroked my hair wordlessly and soon my shaking stopped almost completely, and I no longer felt like bursting into tears.  “Is this helping, little lamb?”

            “Yeah,” I whispered. “Yeah, it’s helping. Thank you.”

            I wasn’t sure how long we sat there in silence, but it was long enough for Kana to message my phone asking where I was, and leaving me a worried voicemail behind it since I hadn’t heard the phone ringing. After a while I finally moved, sending her a text that I was okay and at home, and the rest would have to wait until later.  She understood right away that something had happened, though was respectful enough not to ask me just _what_ , and I was thankful for that. I turned to Ren, noticing how he watched me, though didn’t stop stroking what little of my hair he could still reach. “Thank you. Again. This is embarrassing.”

            “Don’t worry,” he reassured me. He thought to himself for a moment, meeting my eyes seriously, the smile fading. “I know what it’s like to lose a parent.”

            Before I realized what I was doing, I leaned into him, hugging him tightly before getting up to make us some tea. He smiled at me, like he realized what I was doing.  I’d be fine, after a moment or two of normalcy. 

            By the time the tea was finished, the awkwardness had faded a little, him breaking the ice by asking questions that hadn’t been asked before, and humming the tune of one of their newest works-in-progress. I handed him a cup, smiling to myself, blowing on the rim gently so I could take a sip.  I curled my feet up underneath my rear, looking down at my lap. “Do you...would you like to stay the night?” My eyes widened.”I mean--not for any ulterior reason, I just--it’s late--”

            “I haven’t said no,” he said in amusement. “I’ll stay. I trust you.” He grinned, winking when I finally looked up at him. “You and Kana worry too much about the rules, you know.”

            “I’m not,” I protested. “I just...didn’t want you to think that I was a...y’know. Loose woman?”

            He burst into laughter at that, making me chuckle along in embarrassment. “No. Not at all, little lamb.”

            “Oh,” I said sheepishly. “A-anyway...do you want to watch a movie?”

            He chuckled in amusement. “It’s up to you,” he said. “I’m fine with anything.” He toyed with a strand of my hair as he smiled at me. I felt myself relaxing and nodded, grabbing the remote to the television and sitting closer to him. I set my cup on the coffee table, clacking it accidentally. As I sat back, he ruffled my hair and I gave him a timid grin, leaning against him a little more. I felt myself sinking into him comfortably the more he stroked my hair--though this time it was more of an absent gesture rather than something for comfort--but he didn’t seem to mind.  I sighed happily.  It had been a while since I’d done something like this with anyone but Kana, and Ren’s warmth was welcome, especially after the night I’d had.  I found myself thinking that it may not be so bad to have this every night, and threw the thought from my head. Tonight was enough.

* * *

 

            Ren was gone the next morning when I woke and I smiled to myself, running my hands through my hair. It was okay, that he wasn’t there. He’d done above and beyond what any simple date had to do, and we weren’t even _on_ a date. I noticed my phone blinking out of the corner of my eye and picked it up to see an unknown number had texted me. Frowning slightly, I cautiously opened the picture message to see a smiling picture of Ren, with the explanation that he’d gotten my number from Kana. I sent a quick message back to let him know I got it, before noticing that he’d sent it at 7am--4 hours ago now.  I rubbed my eyes with a groan.  I had to be back to work tonight at 8, and I wasn’t going to lay down and nap before my shift.  Before I realized what I was doing, I dialed Kana’s number, inviting her out to lunch.  She readily accepted, telling me that we _had_ to talk, and really giving me no option to say no. We agreed to meet at a small cafe, of which we were regulars. She agreed, hanging up almost immediately and I laughed to myself, looking at the phone.  It was time for me to get ready, I supposed…

            “Okay, now that I see you’re fine and not fatally injured, you wanna tell me why you worried the hell out of me last night?!” Kana demanded once we got our food and drinks, sitting down at a corner booth.  She narrowed her violet eyes at me accusingly. “You and Ren..?”

            “No!” I said, eyes wide and shaking my head. “ No! I…” I paused, taking a deep breath. “No, I saw an accident last night. Like...my...well. You know.”

            Her eyes widened and she reached out to take my hand. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry.”

            “Yeah,” I said, giving her a small smile that I didn’t quite feel.

            “I was really just kidding, but are you okay? Seriously?” She asked in concern, knitting her eyebrows and squeezing my hand before sitting back in her chair. “You know I would have dropped Natsuki like a hot potato and come over to sit with you.”

            “It’s fine.” I smiled. “Ren was there for me. I’m grateful he was there. He was happy to just drink tea and watch movies with me until we fell asleep. He was gone when I woke, but I’m glad he stayed.”

            “Oh, yeah, I was wondering why he was asking for your number at the ass-crack of dawn,” she said thoughtfully. “Must have been when he left.”

            “Now, what’s this I hear about you and Natsuki?” I asked, raising an eyebrow of my own, and she understood my desire to steer the conversation in a different direction.

            “He came over and we watched movies too,” she said with a shrug. “Cause we’re friends.”

            “What about Satsuki?”

            “Nothing about Satsuki,” she said. “I didn’t want to talk to him again after the way the last conversation ended. It was much more pleasant without him.  Natsuki left around 11 last night, and that’s it.” She grinned, face darkening into a blush. “But, I did leave something out.”

            “Oh?”

            “He kissed me for the first time,” she said, her voice almost in a whisper, a smile growing on her face. “On the bridge home. Because of Piyo-chan, can you believe that?” Her grin was almost blinding at this point, infectious and I found myself smiling along with her. “Ruka, honest-to-God, I think I  am in love with him.”

            “It’s written all over your face, Kana, I can tell,” I said with a laugh.  She blushed, taking a long sip of her tea. “I’m not saying that to embarrass you. It’s a good thing!”

            “Mm,” she grunted at me. “Well, it’s not something I can act on or anything, because as far as I know they’re not allowed to fall in love.  Which totally blows, but I understand why. So friendship it is, and I’ll be happy if we’re friends forever, watching cartoons and Piyo-chan on TV.”

            I laughed. “Well, it’s good that you’re happy.”  I looked at my cup thoughtfully, at my name scrawled on the side, then back at her. “But how do you know he feels the same way? About staying just friends forever. You said it yourself, Kana--he _kissed_ you. He was holding your hand all night last night. Do you really think he’ll be happy just being friends with you?”

            She frowned slightly. “I...it’s really not my choice to make, but I don’t want him to absolutely ruin a career like that because of me.  I’m no one. If Shining finds out he’s with someone like me, that’ll be the end of him.” She chuckled to herself. “And TARISH just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

            “From the way he looks at you, you’re worth it,” I said with a smile behind a blueberry scone. “But I’ll stop now. Are you going to see him today?”

            “No...not today.  I have a couple job-things to do today, and I think he’s got a shoot or something today, since the concert was yesterday. I haven’t talked to him much today, just good morning, so I know that he’s really busy with whatever they’re doing.”

            I nodded. “I see. I’ll come keep you company at your house until work?”

            She grinned. “It’s up to you, but I won’t say no. It beats being alone.”

            The rest of the afternoon went by uneventfully, making sure to stop by my house to grab my work uniform. I sat beside her as she played the STARISH CD Natsuki had given her the night before, humming along to the music as she concentrated on her new project.  I browsed the internet on my phone for a while, before flipping the television and watching some reality show before it was time for work that night. She turned the music off, bidding me goodbye with a hug and a can of soda, making sure I’d be okay after what I’d witnessed the night before. I assured her I was fine, and with a wave, I was off.

 


	6. Chapter Six

_ Kana _

“...Miss Kana!”

I turned at the sound of Masato’s voice, a little confused, though not upset in the least.  Masato and I rarely talked, but he was a kind and quiet man from what I knew of him. My eyes widened at the package he held out to me, his face a little pink as he avoided eye contact, shifting his weight to his other foot awkwardly. “I...made this. For you.” 

I took the package from him, looking at the meticulous way it’d been wrapped.  A soft breath escaped my lips as I saw my name written on the top of it, and I gave him a wide smile. “Masa, you shouldn’t have!”

“You...haven’t opened it,” he said, though he made no move to leave.

I blushed, giggling to myself and pulling at the ribbon tied on top, the cloth falling to the side so I could take the top off it. A dozen chocolates were in the box, each decorated a different way, and my mouth dropped open, eyes widening at him. “No, you really shouldn’t have! Thank you so much!” I smiled as I put the lid on, trying to replicate the bow quickly but failing.  I set the box on the coffee table in the common room, giving him a brief hug and letting him go as quickly as I grabbed him. He didn’t seem to mind it, but I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries. “You must have really worked hard on them. They’re beautiful.”

“It’s to repay you from yesterday,” he said, looking away for a moment. “Yours were delicious.” 

“Ah, I’m so happy,” I said with a giggle to myself. “I have more of them, too, if you want. My fridge is packed full of sweets, and Ruka didn’t take any home with her.” 

“I…” He paused for a moment as Syo came into the common room, shaking his head. “I’ll see you later.” He walked off as I grabbed the box, smiling to myself as I watched his back.  

Syo poked his head around mine, looking over my shoulder at the box. “Hey, what’d he give you?”

“Geez, you’re nosy,” I said with a laugh. “But he gave me chocolates, to pay me back from yesterday’s sweets.”

“Huh,” He said, stepping back. “Weird. He must like you.”

I blinked at him for a moment. “Nah, he’s just nice. I like to think I’m friends with all of you guys now, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, waving at me. “Natsuki too?”

“I said  _ all _ of you, didn’t I?” I raised an eyebrow pointedly at him. “Maybe not Satsuki. But everyone else, yes.” 

“You’re all he talks about,” He said. 

“Really?” I laughed. “Same here. I’m sure Ruka is tired of hearing about him. But since you seem interested, there’s not really anything between us. We haven’t, uh...we haven’t really talked about it.” 

He shrugged. “Whatever you say.” 

“Did you start talking to me just to pester me, Syo?” I said, narrowing my eyes at him playfully. “I’m not going to be here long, though. I wanted to hang out with Haruka a little bit before heading back home to work.”

He gave me a dirty look. “No,” he said. “And Haruka’s gone.  Shining needed her to do something, so she’s out.”

“Aw,” I groaned. “Too bad.” I shrugged. “Not that it was a wasted trip, though, I was able to see at least two of you.”

“Natsuki will be back soon,” he said. “He said he was going shopping. Wanna cook for us so he doesn’t kill us?” 

I snorted a laugh before I caught myself. “That sounds so mean when you put it that way,” I began, then dissolved into giggles at his expression. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I have a job to go home to.” 

“Don’t be an ass,” he muttered, glaring daggers at me. “If I don’t eat tonight, it’s going to be your fault.”

“Ouch, you wound me,” I teased. “If he fixes something toxic, come to my house and I promise I will cook you something edible, okay?” I smoothed a hand over the top of the box. “I really need to get going, if Haru’s not here. Tell her I dropped by, okay?” 

“Later,” he said, waving a hand at me as I left the common room.  I tossed a hand up behind me, grinning to myself. 

* * *

 

It had been three days since Natsuki and I had talked, other than a “good morning” or “good night” text.  I found myself getting increasingly worried, since the last time we’d seen each other was the concert. Maybe I’d wrongly assumed the kiss meant everything was fine? I frowned, looking at my phone after a few failed attempts at working on the last and latest project I’d been hired to do. There was no reason for him to be mad at me, was there? Had Shining seen us?  _ Oh no… _  The thoughts raced through my head, not even registering that it may not have anything to do with  _ me _ at all. He was a busy man, after all. 

About the time I lifted the phone in my hand, it began to ring with an unfamiliar number.  I frowned to myself, trying to recall if it was a number of a client. It didn’t seem to ring any bells, but I answered it anyway, just in case it  _ was _ a potential client.  “Hello, this is Kana Kijimuta…”

“Miss Kijimuta,” said a vaguely familiar voice. “It’s Hijirikawa.”

“Oh! Masato, hi!” I said in surprise.  “I didn’t have your number. And call me Kana. We’re friends, right?”

“O-oh. Yes,” he said after a moment. 

“So, is there anything you need? Or did you call just to chat?” I fiddled with my tablet pen, flipping it through my fingers as I held the phone up to my ear. The messy sketch of a logo stared at me from my computer screen, and I quickly saved the picture before closing the computer.

“I wanted to come get the truffles you offered,” he said.

“Cool! Sounds great. I’ll try not to load you up with too much,” I said with a nervous laugh.  “I’ll text you the address. It’s not too far from the dorms.”

“Okay,” he said. After a moment or two of a little more awkwardness, we hung up the phone and I set it down on the coffee table to start wrapping sweets.  I still had a dozen cupcakes, a handful of macaroons, the truffles,and 3 eclairs I hadn’t given Syo in my refrigerator. Choosing to try and keep it simple, I grabbed some tupperware bowls from under the cabinet, putting all the cupcakes and eclairs into the biggest one, then the macaroons and truffles each in a separate bowl. After searching the kitchen for a moment, I found a reusable bag I’d picked up from the grocery store on my last trip and put all the containers in it, replacing it in the fridge before Masato arrived. 

I was a little nervous, since I still didn’t know him very well, but I was looking forward to spending a little time with him. He seemed a little stiff and proper, but in the rare events he did smile, it was a warm one, and usually shared with Tokiya or Syo when everyone was together (and when Natsuki wasn’t hanging all over the shorter blond).  I paced for a moment, finally parking my ass on the couch and turning on something for background noise on the TV. It was a cooking show--something that was fairly frequently on when Miruka wasn’t here watching her variety shows--and I found myself more interested in it when I saw what she was cooking.  _ Hayashi rice? Sounds good.  And easy, too. _ Just as I got up to get a notepad to write down what I little of the recipe I caught, someone knocked at my door. I dropped what I was doing, answering the door with a smile. “Hey, Masa. I’m glad you found me easily.”

“Mm,” he nodded. “You were right. It’s not far.”

“It’s such a short distance, I can’t help but come and bug you guys all the time,” I teased, stepping aside so he could come into the apartment.  I looked at him in amusement, noticing he didn’t go too much farther than the rug behind the door. “You can make yourself at home, you know. My furniture isn’t going to bite.”

He snorted, looking away. “I know.”

I giggled to myself, closing the door and hopping up on my kitchen counter, since he didn’t move. “For what it’s worth, I’m excited you’re here! I never expected you to call me.”

“Well,” he paused. “I was thinking about the truffles you made me. I wouldn’t want them to go to waste.”

“Thank you,” I said with a smile and a blush. “To be perfectly honest, those would have lasted a thousand years with all the other sugary junk in my fridge.  Er, not to call your chocolates junk! They’re delicious, by the way.” I shook my head to cut off my rambling. “You’re really talented in the kitchen, Masa. Way better than me, by the looks of it.”

He didn’t say much, but I swore I saw the hint of a smile on his face. “I’m not. But thank you.” He chuckled to himself. “We’re all better than Natsuki.”

I blinked at him before bursting into giggles. “Oh, you guys never give him a break, do you?”

“I know you haven’t forgotten your first taste of his food,” he said pointedly, striking sapphire-colored eyes staring into mine. 

“Hah, you were there for that one,” I said with a laugh. “No, I don’t think I’m ever going to forget  _ that _ one.  How can you...like, it’s not even hard!” I shook my head. “Anyway, I’m not going to trash talk his cooking. He’s got other qualities to him that trump that crud he makes.”

He smiled a little, nodding. “He does.”

I hopped down off the counter, opening the fridge to retrieve the bag of goodies. “Before I get too busy running my mouth, here...take these. Don’t get the idea that I’m rushing you off, because I’m not, but I don’t want to forget them.” Our fingers brushed briefly as he took the bag from me and I took my place back up on the counter. “So, where’d you learn to cook?” 

He seemed surprised at the question, though didn’t seem to mind answering. “My mother is ill, so I learned to help her.  My father was busy, so I helped take care of her and my sister.” 

“Oh, you have a sister?” I asked, eyebrows going up. “She must be as pretty as you.” At my words, I blanched, slapping a hand over my mouth.  _ Kana, you idiot. _ “I mean...You’re really...handsome...uh…”

“She’s beautiful,” he said, seeming a little flustered from my words, but I didn’t miss the way his eyes lit up at the mention of his sister. “She’s 9.” 

I watched him in fascination, the way his expression softened as he talked about her, and smiled to myself. He was so much sweeter than he looked, wasn’t he? “What’s her name?” I said, swinging my feet a little. 

“Mai,” he said. 

“I don’t have any siblings,” I said, looking at him with a smile. “So it’s nice to hear about someone else’s.” 

“Miruka isn’t?”

“Oh, no...she’s my cousin,” I shook my head. “But she’s close enough to be a sister to me. I’m thankful for her.” I ran a hand through my hair, ruffling my bangs. “Anyway, I didn’t mean to derail the conversation.”

He smiled, hopping up to sit on the bar in front of me. “I don’t mind,” he said. “I...can stay for a while, if you’ll have me.”

“Oh, absolutely,” I said with a bright grin at him. “You’re a welcome distraction from work, ya know.” 

Time flew by as we chatted, sometimes with a brief lull in conversation, before I thought of a new question to ask.  I wasn’t nearly as flustered around him as I was Natsuki (though I chalked that up to my growing feelings for him), and it really was an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon.  I still had work waiting on me, though I felt confident I could get it done now that I’d gotten my mind off Natsuki. It wasn’t until my phone began ringing in an all-too familiar ringtone that I realized how long we’d sat talking. I hopped down off the counter, landing awkwardly on my foot and knocking me a little off-kilter.  My knee went out from under me, and I expected the pain in my ass from falling, though no fall came. Instead, there was an arm under my back to steady me, a warm hand around the opposite wrist. I peeked up at Masato, who somehow had moved at superhuman speed to catch me. 

“T-thank you,” I breathed out, then let out a nervous laugh. “I’m so clumsy. Sorry.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I said, waving a hand. “I landed wrong.” The ding of a voicemail got my attention. “Shit, I’m sorry! I’ve got to get that!” 

He nodded, grabbing the bag he’d set beside him. “It’s late, so I’m going to go back to the dorm.”

“I’ll see you later, Masa.  Thanks for coming by. We’ll have to do it again sometime!” I laughed at myself. “Other than the fall.”

He smiled over his shoulder at me, leaving the apartment and me to my phone.  I grimaced, listening to the voicemail that Natsuki had left, hoping he wasn’t upset with me.  Relief washed over me when I heard his chipper voice, just asking how my day had gone and for me to call whenever I got the chance--he’d answer no matter what time it was. I laughed, shaking my head as I dialed his number. He greeted me happily, answering on the second ring. 

“Kana!”

“Hey, sorry I missed you! I tripped on my way to the phone. I just sent Masato back with some sweets for you guys,” I said with a smile. “I’m glad you called.”

He laughed. “Thank you! I need to bring you some cookies.”

“You’re going to make me so fat,” I groaned with a laugh, inwardly cringing at the thought of anymore of Natsuki’s “sweets”. “What are you doing?”

“Are you busy?” He asked, and not too long after that I heard the doorbell ring. 

My mouth dropping open, I walked to the door, phone in hand. I peeked through the peephole, and seeing his face, laughed. “Natsuki!” I hung the phone up, slipping it into my back pocket and opening the door for him.  He greeted me with a hug, pressing his lips to my cheek. I blushed, laughing a little embarrassedly to myself, hugging him back. “I’m glad to see you!”

“You said Masa came to visit you?” he said as we walked to the living room, him sitting on the couch behind me as I took my place in front of the coffee table to work on my project. 

“Yeah! It was nice to get to know him a little,” I said with a smile. “He’s so quiet, he’s kind of hard to talk to.  He made me chocolates, too!” 

“Ah, really?! They’re good, right?” He asked excitedly.  

“Leagues better than mine,” I agreed with a nod. “I need that recipe.  Mine probably won’t be as good as his, though.” I snickered. “Food always tastes better when someone else cooks it.”

He laughed. “You’re right!” He leaned forward slightly, his head over my shoulder. “What is it you’re working on?”

“Mm, another logo. For a client. It’s due in a couple days and I’ve just been in a rut with it,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “It’s helpful that you’re here, maybe I’ll concentrate a little better.” Once I got done speaking, my eyes widened at my words. “I just...I mean...uh…”

“I missed you too,” he said softly, his eyes twinkling when I looked at him. “Is that what you meant?”

“Yeah,” I breathed. “Yeah, it is.” I looked back at the screen of my computer, following what little bit of the sketch I had with the inking tool.  “What do  _ you _ think of it?”

“What are you drawing for?” He asked, looking carefully at what I had on the screen. 

“It’s for a charity of sorts.  The way it was explained to me, they have an after-school program like a music club, but for children that can’t afford the instruments. It’s a good idea, don’t you think? It’s helpful for students that like music and don’t want to go home.” I huffed at myself. “But I just can’t seem to think of anything I like.”

“Hm. What’s  _ your _ favorite instrument?” He asked, cocking his head to the side to look at me. 

I blushed. “Well...I’ve always really loved violin, and piano as a close second.”

“Can you draw them together?” He suggested. “Maybe with a music staff around it?” 

My eyes widened in realization, as if a lightbulb had gone off, and I began to erase the sketch I had in a frenzy. “Natsuki, you’re a genius,” I said, sketching a violin. 

“I’m glad to help,” he said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

The project that had taken the last two days to sketch out was done in three hours, the time flying as I chatted with Natsuki about what he’d been doing the last few days.  He sat behind me, occasionally leaning forward to look at what I was doing but careful not to bump me. Once done, I leaned back without thinking, right into his shins. I stiffened, looking behind me apologetically. “I’m sorry! I didn't mean to flop on you.”

“I don’t mind,” He said, shaking his head. “You can lean back if you want to.”

“Mm, you’re super sweet,” I said, turning around to sit up on my own knees. “But I feel bad.” I stood, patting his knee as my stomach let out an embarrassing growl. “Oh, man, I’m starved.” I looked at him, then the clock. “Would you be in too much trouble if you went to dinner with me?”

“Like a date?” he teased, standing up behind me. 

My eyes widened. “Uh…mmm...a friend date? For anyone asking,” I said with a nervous laugh. “I mean...well. I’ve repeated myself a thousand times.”

“A friend date,” he said with a nod. 

I grinned at him. “Let me grab my sweater and get my shoes on.” 

“Okay!” He grinned brightly at me. 

I grabbed my favorite hoodie, an oversized solid black thing I’d been sent with my very first logo ironed on it, deciding to change into a pair of black and white striped skinny jeans that I had to admit made my ass look great.  I ran a brush through my hair, putting a pale lipstick on my lips quickly to avoid keeping him and my angry stomach waiting. I rushed past Natsuki, grabbing a pair of flat ankle boots and lacing them with seasoned expertise, leaving the top open and the tongue hanging out a little.  Throwing my phone and wallet into my coat pocket, I grabbed my keys and shut all the lights off before smiling at him brightly. “Ready to go, Nacchan?”

“Nac...chan?” He asked softly, eyes wide as he paused before following me outside. 

I laughed as I locked the door. “I...well, it’s what you put in my phone the day I met you,” I said with an embarrassed grin. “But if you don’t want me to call you that, I won’t.”

“Oh, no! I don’t mind,” he said, shaking his head and grinning at me cutely. “I like it when you say it.”

It was my turn to blink at him, slipping my keys into my coat pocket. “O-oh. Ha, in that case, I’ll keep it up.” After a second of awkwardness, my stomach rumbled again and I grimaced. “So...let’s go?”

“Kana,” he said, catching up to me. “Can I hold your hand?”

“Mm,” I said, and the offer was tempting.  I nodded. “Yeah. I like it.”

“Me too,” he said, his large hand enveloping mine in a matter of seconds.  His hands really were much nicer outside of gloves. They were a little rough in places, particularly his fingertips from years of playing the viola, and I felt a blush rise from my toes.  My heart started to beat a little faster and I began to second-guess my agreement. It wasn’t that I didn’t want it, because  _ Oh, God, yes I did _ , but how long could I pretend this was all that I was okay with? I’d fallen, and I’d fallen so hard I’d bounced right back up again to fall a second time. There was something about him, something very special, and I yearned to hold onto it.  However, I knew better and the worry would always nag at the back of my mind. I felt a squeeze on my hand and looked up at Natsuki. “Is everything alright?” 

“Yeah,” I said, giving him a reassuring grin. “I’m fine. I was just thinking.” I shook my head. “It’s been a while since I’ve held hands with someone. Besides the night of the concert, I mean.” I giggled to myself. “Ruka and I used to all the time, but she started to feel a little uneasy with the looks we were getting when we got older. Old people frown on two grown women holding hands for some reason. You should have seen their faces when I would lean over and kiss her cheek.” He laughed with me, and I shook my head. “It embarrassed her, and I’m pretty sure I would turn red too, so we stopped.” I got a little quieter. “My old boyfriend didn’t like it.  He’d say I was too clingy and say...really nasty things to me.” I squeezed his hand and smiled up at him. “So it’s nice to have someone that wants to hold my hand again, even if he’s not really supposed to.” I winked at him. 

“I’ll hold your hand for as long as you want me to,” he said sincerely. 

I laughed nervously. “Thank you,” I said. I chewed my bottom lip to keep from crying, looking up at the lights of the city as we neared a few restaurants. “That place looks good.” I pointed to a cute cafe lit up in the middle of two higher-class restaurants. 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, I like cute things as much as the next person,” I teased with a pointed look at him.  He grinned brightly, his pace quickening just the slightest little bit as we got to the door. We found a place to sit as a waitress walked to our table, handing us colorful menus full to the brim of things that were just as tasty as they were cute. After deciding on melon soda, onigiri for the both of us and a giant parfait for myself, we handed the menus back to her. 

“Tell me more about you and Ruka,” he said after a moment. “You look so happy when you talk about her.”

“She’s the most constant thing I’ve ever had in my life,” I said with a nod. “My parents really never had the time to spend with me, with work all the time, so I was basically raised by my grandparents, and since Ruka’s family didn't live far from them, her and her brother came to play with me. Shinobu is a little older than we are, so he wasn’t really into what we were, and when my cousin Kanon was born, he helped his mother take care of her.  Not that he was particularly excited to do that, but it was better than hanging out with some stinky girls.” I laughed at the memory. “There was only once where she cut me--and everyone else, even--out, but her parents got into a really bad accident and didn’t make it. We’ve been basically joined at the hip since then, when I finally got through to her.” I looked at the table. “She was there for me when no one else was with my ex boyfriend, and that was a dark place in my life, too. It’s nice to have someone like that, isn’t it?” 

He smiled warmly and nodded. “STARISH is my family,” he said. “So I know how you feel.”

“I thought you may say that,” I said with a nod. “They’re good people. You’re good people.” Our drinks were delivered, with a cute smile and bow from the waitress before she was off again. I touched the rim of my glass, bubbling with the green-colored liquid. “You’ve got a hell of a support system.” 

“So do you,” he said with a nod. “You’ve got Ruka. You have me, now. The rest of STARISH.” 

“That’s so much pressure on you, though, Natsuki,” I said, shaking my head. “Don’t worry about me. I wouldn’t want to burden you with any problems I have. I’d rather bottle things up and explode on my own time.” I laughed lightly. “With you, and the rest of STARISH, too, I want things to stay light. Smiling. You know?”

“I’ll support you,” he said. “If you need it. We’re friends, aren’t we?” 

Before I had the chance to answer, the food was delivered--him having ordered the exact same parfait I had, and the sparkle in his eye was so cute he was positively  _ killing me _ \--and I was spared having to dive deeper into a conversation I’d had no intention of having in the first place.  I picked my spoon up, plunging it into the middle of a strawberry and the cream under it, shoving it into my mouth like a caveman. 

He laughed. “You should have eaten earlier,” he teased, eyes twinkling at me in amusement. 

“Sometimes I don’t really realize I’m hungry,” I said sheepishly. “And then this happens. Ruka has to remind me to eat on days she’s been there and knows I’ve been staring holes into my computer screen. And then there are days where I do nothing but shovel food into my face.” 

He laughed. “It happens to me too,” he said. “Usually an agent makes time for lunch, so we don’t forget.  On days I’m off, I like to cook for Syo and I.”

“I was at the dorms the other day, wanting to see Haruka,” I started, taking another bite of the parfait. “Syo mentioned you were out, but I had a project to work on so I couldn’t stay.  He said you were grocery shopping.”

He nodded. “He said you were there,” he said. “I meant to call you that night, but I fell asleep holding my phone.” He looked embarrassed, laughing at himself. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re here now,” I said. “And I’m happy to see you, so it’s not a big deal.” I grinned around my spoon. “And we’re having dinner together, even! It more than makes up for a couple of days of missed calls.” I looked at the table. “That last logo was really throwing me for a loop, so I’m  _ really _ grateful to you. You basically just made money for me.” 

“You still drew it,” He said. 

“Mm, but it was your idea,” I said with a laugh. “If anyone asks, I’ll tell them you suggested it and I drew it.” 

He smiled at me, nodding. The rest of dinner went by fairly quickly, talking about our pasts, and the people we were close to.  I paid for both of us, even though he protested, covering my hand with his as I pulled my card from my wallet. I wrinkled my nose at him, though still whipped my card into the waitress’s hand as she walked by with the bill. It earned a whine of my name, making me laugh and poke his nose. “Maybe next time you’ll be faster.”

Once we left, we started back to the apartment, holding hands once again. “I had a lot of fun tonight,” I said after a moment of silence.  “Thank you, for going out with me.”

“Anytime,” He said with a squeeze of my hand. “I’ll walk you home.”

“Aha, you don’t have to,”I said. “But I’m not going to say no. We can watch a movie together tonight, if you want?”

At his nod, I smiled and we walked to the house in silence, just content to hold each other’s hand. We arrived, sitting together on the couch after kicking our shoes off at the door and locking it behind us. I turned on my playstation, booting up my favorite streaming service and putting on a comedy that both of us would probably enjoy.  I was hyper-aware of his presence beside me, tensing at the idea of sitting closer to him. I desperately  _ wanted _ to, but the last thing I wanted to do was weird him out by getting too close.  After a few moments of internally wrestling with myself, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked at him. “Do you want to sit closer?”

“Y-yeah,” I said, a hiccup of nervous laughter following. “Yeah, I do.” I curled up at his side, him taking the hand closest to his, pulling it atop his thigh to hold it.  I bit my lip, smiling to myself as we watched the movie, cautiously putting my head on his shoulder.  _ Ugh. This is so, so dangerous. Satsuki may decide to show his face. _ I sighed, forcing myself to relax. Natsuki was in no danger of losing his glasses, so I didn’t need to worry so much.  My fingers slipped easily into his when I loosened my grip on his hand, my face bright red in a blush. I snuck a peek at his face, noticing he looked about the same as I felt.  He was nervous, too? I wanted to giggle. He really was cute. 

He looked down at me, catching me looking at him, and I looked at the TV quickly.  He laughed softly, squeezing my hand. “Don’t...don’t be so nervous around me?”

“Why do you sound so unsure yourself?” I teased, lifting my head slightly off his shoulder. “You’re nervous too, aren’t you?”

He laughed sheepishly, rubbing his head a little with his other hand. “I...a little.”

I chuckled to myself. For some reason that helped to ease my own tension. “It’s okay. Really.”

“Kana?”

“Hm?” 

He looked at me, turning slightly and squeezing my hand a little. “Can I…can I kiss you?” I nodded breathlessly, his other hand cupping my cheek gently.  _ He didn’t have to ask...but I guess it’s my fault. Who am I kidding with this friend thing? _  I looked into his eyes as he leaned closer, in what seemed like slow motion, feeling myself lean up into him. Our lips met in a gentle kiss, this one so much more nervous than the last one.  I chalked it up to the high from the concert, while we were completely alone here in my house. I put my hand on his strong forearm, my eyelids fluttering close as the first kiss turned into the second, the third.  The hand on my cheek slid to the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair, tilting it to the side gently. The hand on his arm found its way to his broad chest, tightening my fingers in his T-shirt. I sighed against his lips, allowing him more access if he chose. He seemed to understand, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss, with me following his lead.  My fingers tightened further, and I felt myself leaning into his kiss. A soft whimper escaped my throat, muffled by his mouth on my own, and I felt his breath hitch in his chest. A moment later, we pulled apart, looking at each other, our chests rising and falling in the same heavy breathing.

“Wow,” I whispered without thinking.  I laughed at myself, releasing my grip in his shirt, but made no other moves to get away from him. “You’re...really good at that.”

His eyes widened slightly, then he began to laugh.  “You, too.” 

“Um…” I looked down at our hands, then back up at him. “Wanna finish the movie?” 

He laughed at my nervousness, nodding and scooting back on the couch, the grip on my hand never loosening.  I smiled to myself, my heart fluttering in my chest. 

 

_ _


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy this!

_ Kana _

Sneakers squeaked on the gym floor as a number of sweaty bodies danced to the music bumping from the boombox in the corner of the room.  I leaned against the wall beside the door, my knees drawn up to my chest as I watched them. They were learning new choreography to one of their newest songs, something Shining had them prepare for an upcoming concert. It didn’t look particularly difficult, mostly fun, and I wondered vaguely how hard it would be for me to learn it myself. 

I didn’t have to wonder long, a grinning, panting Otoya grabbing my arm and pulling me up with him. “Come on! I saw you at the concert last time. You dance with us.” 

“I’m not a part--I can’t--” I stammered before Masato looked at me and nodded. 

“You can,” he said softly, and it was all he  _ had _ to say. He was that confident on my behalf?

“Guys, you can’t be serious,” I said, trying to laugh off my embarrassment. “I mean, it’s fun, but I’m...don’t want to make you practice longer than you have to.  I’m  _ terrible _ .”

“You weren’t so bad,” Otoya argued good-naturedly, not relinquishing his hold on my arm.  “Come on, it’s fun! You looked really lonely.”

“I was zoning really hard,” I mumbled, a blush lighting my face on fire. “I really enjoy watching all of you, don’t worry about me.” A few more excuses were on the tip of my tongue before I felt a hand on the small of my back to see Ren standing there, smiling at me.  The look in his blue eyes didn’t leave much room for argument and I just about deflated. “Okay.” The word was meek as I spoke it. “Okay, you win. All of you.” I wrinkled my nose at Otoya and Ren in particular. “Don’t blame me if there are a few accidents and we all fall down like dominoes.”

“You’ll be fine,” Natsuki assured me from by the back wall as he took a sip of his water. “You did fine at the concert! Just pretend this is for a client.” 

My face went completely scarlet at the thought of filming myself dancing for a client, blinking at him.  After a moment I laughed to ease some of my own nervousness. “ _ Fine _ .”

“You don’t miss many rehearsals, so I was thinking, why not?” Otoya said , pulling me over by him and  _ finally _ letting go of my arm. “It’s easy! You should have the basics down.”

“But watching and doing are two different things,” I protested. The music started back up and I watched the guys carefully out of the corner of my eye as I started to move along with them.  My moves were shy, uncertain at first, but when I got the hang of it I forgot all about being nervous. Before I realized what was happening, the song was over and Otoya was clapping me on the back. 

“I knew you could do it! You were good!” 

“Flattery,” I muttered, grinning in spite of myself. “ I had fun though, so thank you.”

“Wanna do it again?” He asked the group.  When everyone pretty much agreed, he looked at me with a wink. “Do it again!”

“I…” I met Natsuki’s eyes and he smiled at me, encouraging me without words.  I laughed to myself. “Okay, okay. I’ll start practicing with you.” Otoya’s grin grew wider, pulling me into a brief hug before we got back in position, Tokiya starting the music. 

By the time we were finished practicing, an hour and a half had passed, and I was splayed out on the floor on my back, chest heaving. “I’m dead. You killed me.” 

Otoya laughed, squatting beside me with a dirty towel on his head. “You did good!”

“I’m going to be  _ so sore _ tomorrow,” I groaned, not even bothering to move. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve done that?”

“You were dancing around the kitchen the first time I met you,” he said. “Remember?”

“How could I  _ not _ ?” I said, covering my face with my hands. “I’m still embarrassed about that. It’s one of those things that I’ll be embarrassed about when I’m 100 years old.”

“Don’t worry about it, Kana,” Ren said with a grin as he took a long swig from his water bottle. “You think we haven’t all done embarrassing things?”

“Well, you, no,” I teased, peeking through my fingers. 

He laughed. “Well.”

“But I get it, and I’m still gonna suffer that embarrassment and there’s nothing you can do to fix it,” I said.

“Would it make you feel better for the rest of us to do it, too?” He said with a wink at me. 

“Please do come to my house and sing into spoons,” I said with a snicker that turned into a full blown belly laugh. “Oh, my God, that would be hilarious.” 

“We’ll be sure to drop them when we notice you filming,” he teased, nudging my side with a foot on his way out. 

I snorted, covering my mouth before sitting up and nearly choking on the giggles that threatened to escape.  The image of Ren specifically being as embarrassed as I had been tickled my funny bone and I was having a hard time getting myself together.  This would be another incident that I’d probably be embarrassed about in years to come, but this time, it was completely worth it. 

“She’s broken,” Syo said flatly, causing another fit with his tone. “Ren broke her.” 

“This is why we can’t have nice things,” Masato muttered, and I had to put my head down in my lap, my hands over my face but doing little to smother the laughter.  

“I can’t  _ breathe _ ,” I finally choked out, taking a few heaving breaths. “Okay. I think it’s time for me to go home before you actually  _ do _ kill me.” 

Natsuki chuckled, tapping my arm to help me up off the floor. I wiped at my face, thanking him with a bright grin. He grinned back, ruffling my hair.  “Thanks,” I said. “I’m gonna go home and take a shower, but thanks for letting me hang out with you.”

“You know you can come anytime you want,” He said as he walked me to the door of the dorms. “It was really fun to practice with you!”

“Yeah,” I said with an involuntary giggle. “It really was. I need more exercise. My ass is getting too big.” I grinned, tongue between my teeth as I dared to look at him, my face hot in a blush.

“It looks fine,” he said, then blushed at what he’d said. “I mean--not that I’ve been looking--!”

“I um...wouldn’t really care if you looked?” I said. “A-anyway. I need to get my butt home and take a bath. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Of course,” He said, smiling gently. “Be careful, I’m sorry I can’t come with you today.”

I waved it off as I walked out the door, smiling to myself.  _ So he does like my ass.  _

* * *

“Wakey, wakey, sleepyhead,” Ruka murmured to me the next morning, shoving at me to scoot over in my bed. “I’m tired and you’re starfishing on the bed. Scoot it.”

“Yes, dear,” I muttered sarcastically, rolling over on my side and sighing deeply. “Geez. Coming over to take over my bed like you own the place.”

“Too tired to argue,” she said, flopping down on the bed beside me, curling up in the blankets. “We’ll fight about my bed privileges when I wake up.”

“Rough night?” I asked softly.  She merely grunted at me, and I laughed to myself, checking the time. It was nearing 9AM, but since I had no plans today at all, I turned my phone upside down and snuggled down into my warm bed so I could sleep a little later. 

Three hours later, I woke feeling completely refreshed for the first time in a good while. I got up, stretching my arms widely as I made my way to the bathroom as quietly as I could.  Taking a look at my wild hair, I barked a laugh, running a brush through it before brushing my teeth and making my way to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator, wrinkling my nose at what few things there were inside. Mainly leftovers, and what wasn’t leftovers didn’t sound particularly appetizing for breakfast anyway, so I shut it, humming to myself.  I pulled myself up on the counter, kicking my legs and wracking my brain for ideas. 

Finding nothing after a moment or two, I decided to forgo breakfast since I wasn’t really  _ that _ hungry, and go watch television instead of doing something productive. Curling up on the couch, I grabbed my remote and flipped through the channels. With a groan, I flopped over. Nothing. Well, nothing  _ I _ was interested in, anyway. My life had become a lot more interesting with the introduction of STARISH, and I found myself wanting to pester the life out of the lot of them on a daily basis.  They didn’t seem to mind, but I didn’t want to overstep boundaries. Besides, I needed to spend more time at home with Ruka, even if she  _ was _ sleeping.  

I bit my lip, reaching for my phone and scrolling through my social media, seeing a text notification in the corner of the screen.  Pulling it open, I noticed it was an image from Ren, and I wondered what it could be. Ren rarely sent me text messages, and even more rarely sent pictures.  Upon opening the message, I slapped a hand over my mouth to muffle the God-awful cackling I was trying to stifle. 

He was singing into a spoon. 

**_We aren’t friends anymore,_ ** was my reply when I finally got myself together.  I sent a dozen emojis to follow so he’d know I wasn’t serious (though I was sure he’d realize  _ that _ anyway).  

**_You’re too easy to tease._ **

**_Bite me, Jinguji._**  I put the phone down on the couch, grinning to myself. I decided to just leave the TV on a food network, for ideas on new things to cook for everyone.  I really enjoyed cooking for all of us, when I could, and for the first time I felt like I had a huge family. Not that I didn’t have a family, but this was one of my own choosing, and to me, that felt a lot more special.  

**_Well, since you’re asking me so nicely…_ **

**_Down, boy._ **  I rolled my eyes at the phone as I sent back the reply.   **_No shame._ **

**_Not at all._ ** His reply to me was quick, and I could almost hear him laughing to himself as he texted me back. I shook my head, putting my phone down again.  I wasn’t going to entertain his flirting now--I obviously had someone I was interested in, and I knew Ruka was interested in  _ him _ , and the last thing I wanted to do was give him the wrong idea. It wasn’t as if I really thought it was anything beyond meaningless teasing, anyway, but it was better to set boundaries. I picked the playstation controller, deciding to play one of the many games I already had on the system to waste away the rest of the afternoon.  

Ruka woke up a few hours later, groaning when she saw the first person shooter I was playing and hearing the colorful curses I was shooting at the TV. I waved a hand at her before she went to the bathroom to freshen up, and once she was done, she took her normal spot by me at the couch. “Good morning.”

“Evening,” I corrected absentmindedly, earning myself a swat on the knee. “Ouch. Okay, morning it is.”

“What’s for food?”

“I haven’t cooked, so you’re on your own unless you feel like going to the grocery store with me,” I said. “I haven’t had much of an appetite today.” 

“You need to eat better,” she scolded half-heartedly. “We can go there. I’ve got a taste for some instant ramen, so we’ll be unhealthy together.”

I grinned at her. “Sounds alright to me,” I said. “Let me get actual clothes on and we’ll walk over there.” 

“I can’t believe you haven’t put pants on all day,” she said, eyeing my bare legs when I got up from the couch. “What if you had company? Like, Natsuki?”

“We would have been like two kids and blushed and I would have put pants on and watched a movie like we normally do,” I said with a laugh. “Because Natsuki is a good man and I trust him.” 

“Presented with the opportunity, would you? Sleep with him?” I looked at her in dumbfounded silence for a moment, and she looked at her hands nervously, a pretty blush lighting her face and she looked at me. “Because...I probably would. With Ren.”

I laughed. “So would a hundred other girls.  He’s that type.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “But to answer your question...I would. If the opportunity presented itself.” I laughed again, waving my hand. “But I’m too worried about Shining finding out and him losing his career to...immerse myself more into that life.” At her look, I sighed, my face falling. “I’m in too deep already, Ruka, I don’t know what else to do. Satsuki hates me, and I think he’d wring my neck if I hurt Natsuki. And...I don’t want to. But I can’t leave him. I’m stuck, and it’s going to hurt both of us but I can’t...not be selfish.” 

“I know,” she said softly. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that look in your eye.”

“That’s not the first time recently you’ve said that,” I said.  I turned into the bathroom, grabbing a pair of comfortable jeans the shelf I had by the shower. Slipping them on, I made my way back to the living room and grabbed the hoodie I’d haphazardly thrown over the back of the couch the night before. I rested a hand on the couch. “I shouldn’t feel like this again. Not after the way I was treated before. I should be more reserved. But I’m not. I’m basically throwing my heart at him and praying that he accepts, and I shouldn’t.”

“It’s hard not to fall in love with your knight in shining armor,” she said, and I had the feeling she had Ren in mind when saying it.  I smiled softly. She was the same way as I was, wasn’t she? Falling hard for a good looking, kind person saving you from whatever problem you had at the time. However undignified it may be. “Isn’t it?”

“You know it as well as I do,” I said. “Especially when I kind of loved him before I met him. But that makes me creepy, so I won’t say that anymore.”

“It’s just me,” she laughed. 

“Oh, yeah,” I said with a nod of agreement. “Still it’s embarrassing, so I won’t mention it anymore.” I ran to my room for socks then, emerging with a pair that didn’t quite match, but no one was going to be looking at my feet. “Wanna go?”

“Waiting on you, cousin,” she said dryly, and I grabbed my shoes from the door. 

* * *

Rehearsal was a couple days later, the moves coming a little more naturally to me than the time before, and I was rewarded by a bright smile from both Otoya and Cecil.  “Have you been practicing?”

“A little?” I said with a blush. “It’s really fun.”

“You’ve got more rhythm than you give yourself credit for,” Masato said to me from the chair he sat in, a towel draped across his broad shoulders, taking a long sip of his water.  His blue eyes were clear as gems as he looked at me and I couldn’t help but smile at his praise. He spoke to me a lot more lately, and I was thankful again that we’d exchanged those chocolates. He returned the smile, and though it was only a shadow, it was enough to make me happy.

“Thanks,” I said. “It’s really because of you guys. You’re so much fun to watch, it’s really inspiring.  It makes me want to get up with you.”

“And now you can!” Natsuki piped up. 

“Mm,” I nodded. “I can.”  I stretched my arms behind my head, shaking my shoulders out and wrinkling my nose at the sweat on my shirt. “But since we’re finished, I’m going to go borrow your shower.” I booped Natsuki’s nose on the way out of the room, grabbing my bag and walking to the room Syo and Natsuki shared, locking the bathroom door behind me.  I pulled my shampoo, conditioner and body wash out to put on the built-in shelf in their shower. After double-checking the lock one more time, I started the water and pulled my towels and the rest of my clothes from my bag, stripping and climbing in. The hot water felt really nice on my tired body and I stretched again, letting it run down my back with a long sigh.  I ran my fingers through my hair before washing it with a floral shampoo, followed by the matching conditioner. It didn’t take too long to wash the rest of myself before rinsing the conditioner out. Making sure I’d gotten all the soap off, I turned the faucet off, grabbing a towel and throwing it around my hair for a moment, squeezing what water out of it that I could before wrapping it around myself.  Since my hair was short, it didn’t take long for it to dry. I wiped a hand across the mirror to clear the fog, smiling to myself at the fact that I was in  _ Natsuki’s _ room to take a shower. It was a little thing, innocent, and it still meant a lot to me that I was able to spend the time here, and was so freely able to go into his room.  

A moment later, I dressed, grabbing my things to shove into my bag.  After another fluff of my hair in the towel, I threw that in my bag as well, running a brush through the damp mop of hair on my head. I walked out, back to the rehearsal room, and seeing no one there, assumed everyone else was showering as well.  I walked to the common room, putting my bag down beside the corner of the couch. I listened for any footsteps, hearing the plinking of piano keys down the hall instead.  _ Masa?  _ I followed the sound, leaving my bag where no one would be tripping over it, and stopping just out of the doorway, leaning against the wall to listen.  I didn’t want to disturb him, sinking down to sit on the floor and pulling my knees to my chest, closing my eyes. He was so talented, and played with  _ so much passion _ . It was a passion one would rarely see from him outside of piano and singing with STARISH. 

Natsuki walked by, raising an eyebrow at me and I smiled, putting a finger to my lips.  “ _ Listening,” _ I mouthed and he nodded, taking a seat beside me. I leaned over toward him, my lips inches away from his ear. “I like hearing him play.” 

He nodded vigorously in agreement. “Me too,” he said. 

A moment later, I heard another voice with him, and looked at Natsuki wide-eyed.  _ Tokiya?! _ He seemed to guess what I was silently asking, chuckling softly and nodding. I exhaled in an  _ “ooooooh” _ , then grinned and squirmed where I was sitting.  It was always a pleasure to hear the guys sing solo, and hearing Tokiya specifically made my heart thump. I wasn’t romantically attracted to the man, but his voice was  _ so nice. _  When Masato joined in, I sighed to myself and nearly jumped out of my skin when Natsuki laughed quietly at me.  They had a way of really making you lose yourself to the music, and I was embarrassed to have sort-of forgotten about Natsuki. From the way he ruffled my hair, he understood how I was feeling, and I tapped the side of my head on his shoulder affectionately.  Once the two of them finished, I clapped, knocking on the doorway as I stood. “That was amazing, you guys! I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was here, but I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt you.” I blushed, looking at my shoes as Masato smiled to himself, Tokiya looking mildly annoyed.  “I...I’m sorry if it’s a bother.” 

“No,” Tokiya said, shaking his head. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He excused himself, brushing past me on his way out. 

“Thank you,” Masato said. “You like piano?”

“Love it,” I said. I looked behind me, seeing Natsuki wave and point toward the kitchen where I caught the sound of Syo’s voice (for being such a little man, he was  _ loud _ ).  I nodded, looking back at Masato. “I’ve always really loved the sound of piano music. I like it a little more when you play it.” My eyes widened. “I mean…” I snorted at myself. “Well. I meant what I said.”

“Thank you,” he said, his lips thinning in a line as he avoided eye contact. “I don’t mind teaching, if you want to learn.”

“Really?!” My eyebrows nearly went into my hairline as high as I had them raised, and he nodded, his expression softening slightly. “Oh. I don’t want to impose… I’m already over here a ton as it is, and I don’t want to wear out my welcome…” 

“If you weren’t welcome, we wouldn’t have you,” he said rather bluntly. 

I laughed sheepishly. “You’re right, you’re right.” He patted the seat beside him and I sat down on the edge, nervous about being too close to him. “I worry. Still.” 

He nodded, looking at me. “I understand.” He reached over, hooking an arm around my waist to pull me closer across the seat, laying both hands on the keys. I mimicked him, looking up expectantly. “How much do you know about reading music?”

“I know how to read the lyrics,” I said simply. “And that is it.” At his look, I giggled, putting my hands in my lap. “Are you sure you want to take on the task of teaching me?”

“How is your...learning ability?”

“Like, do I pick up on things quickly? I think so,” I said. “I like to learn.” 

“Put your hands back on the piano,” he said. “And we’ll start.” 

I smiled brightly at him. “Thanks, Masa.” 

  
  


 


	8. Chapter Eight

_ Kana; a couple weeks later _

I looked up at the blond leaning against my countertop, stuffing a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. My fist was closed around a ring on a chain, holding it to my chest.  He cocked his head to the side cutely. “Kana?”

“I want you to have this,” I blurted, thrusting my fist at him, squeezing my eyes shut as I bowed my head. “I...have been wanting to give you something special. Of mine.” I dared to peek at him when I didn’t hear him shuffle, and he was looking at my hand wide-eyed, seemingly hesitant to take the necklace I offered.

“I haven't done anything for you…”

“You don't have to. I want you….I want you to have it. Because I l…I like you.” I smiled at him, then bit my lip, my emotions a little conflicting. “You don't have to feel the same way I do, I just liked the idea...of you having something that means something to me.” 

He reached for my hand, taking the necklace from me and looking at the blue-gemmed ring dangling from the chain. It was the first piece of jewelry I’d bought for myself after I started my freelancing, something I'd eyeballed for a long time before I could actually afford it. I wore it every day after getting it, until my fingers turned an awful green and I couldn’t wear it anymore. I still loved it, even a few years later, even if it wasn’t wearable.  I watched his face as he looked at it, lips parted slightly as he turned it in his fingers. “A-are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t give it to you if I wasn’t sure,” I said. I took it from his fingers, reaching up on tiptoes to secure the clasp behind the back of his neck. I slipped it into the inside of his button-up shirt, folding down the collar.  I sank back on my heels, putting my hands behind my back and smiling up at him. “A-anyway.” 

He pulled me into a tight hug, my cheek squishing against his chest, arms wrapped around my back and his cheek on the top of my head. “Kana…” 

“Natsuki,” I whispered back, giggling to myself. “It’s not that big a deal, I--”

“I like you, too,” He said. 

“Oh,” I said, putting my arms around his back. “Oh, that’s good.” I felt excitement bubbling up in my chest and squeezed him tighter. “I’m so glad. I was really nervous.” 

He released me, smiling down at me. “I really like it.” He leaned down to brush his lips over mine. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I said with a smile of my own. “I’m really glad.” I chuckled to myself, toying with the back of my hair as I peeked around him. “Uh...your ice cream is going to melt.” 

He laughed, nodding. “Yeah.”

I pulled myself on top of the counter, grabbing my almost-forgotten bowl. I dipped my spoon in it, my house having been chilly enough it didn’t immediately turn to soup. He resumed leaning against the counter, looking at me from the corner of his eye. I caught the look, blushing as I grinned. “I hope it won’t be awkward.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want it to be.”

“I worry too much,” I said with a laugh. “How many times have you been here...we’ve even kissed before and still, I’m worried about awkwardness.” I shook my head. “I have to be honest with you, Natsuki. There are a lot of girls that are in love with you, and after getting to know you and spending so much time with you and STARISH...I’m head over heels and I can’t stop it. I love you.” I stared down into my ice cream. “I know it’s against the rules, and I really, really tried not to, but I--”

Suddenly he was in front of me, my face in his big, warm hands, his lips on mine swallowing the words I was saying.  I let out a muffled sound of surprise before setting the bowl of ice cream aside and putting a hand on his shoulders, his height still higher than mine even sitting on the counter.  He pulled back, eyes twinkling and a bright smile on his face. “I love you.”

“Won’t you get in trouble?” I whispered, biting my lip. “You’re not supposed to fall in love..with anyone, much less someone like me. What if Shining finds out?”  _ What if Satsuki finds out..?  _ Somehow that thought was much scarier than Shining Saotome. “Don’t get me wrong, Natsuki, I am over the moon to hear you love me back.” I didn’t realize I was crying until his thumbs brushed the tears from my cheeks, but he smiled gently. 

“I fell in love with you the minute I saw you,” he said. “Even Shining couldn’t have stopped it.”

“Oh, my God,” I said, and the noise that escaped my throat sounding like something between a sob and a laugh, a hand covering my mouth. “Oh, my God, no.” At his nod, I put both hands over my face, him wrapping his arms around me in a hug. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he murmured into my hair.

“It’s okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I’m okay. I’m just...this is a little overwhelming. I didn’t even intend to confess today.”

“I’m glad you did,” he said, and I could hear the pounding of his heart in his chest. I smiled, pulling my hands from my face and wrapping my arms around his back. “I wanted to tell you.”

“We’ve probably felt the same way for a while,” I said, pushing my face against his shirt, the warmth giving me butterflies. “I’m just happy that it’s out in the open now. I’ve been holding back for a long time because...well, I didn’t want to be a crazy fangirl…”

He laughed, and I could feel it in his chest, the way it bubbled up and out of his mouth, his arms tightening around me. “I’ve never thought you were a crazy fangirl, Kana.”

“Good thing,” I said. “I worried myself a couple of times, there in the beginning.” 

He let me go, standing beside me, and I noticed the blush on his face.  _ He’s so cute. I’m so lucky. _  Shaking his head, he picked up the ice cream once again. “I always want to spend time with you. I’ve never thought you were crazy.”

I laughed to myself. “I’m surprised.” 

“It’s really, really cute,” he said, popping a spoonful into his mouth. He smiled around the spoon. “You’re really, really cute.” 

I looked at him, a blush rising on my face as I shoved a spoonful of ice cream into my own mouth.  After a moment or two of thought, I giggled to myself. “I love you.”  _ It’s so nice to finally tell him that.  _

* * *

 

I sat down at the piano beside Masato, stretching my arms and cracking my knuckles before putting my fingers on the keys to practice the scales he’d taught me as warm-up. I grinned up at him brightly and he gave me a warm smile in return. “You’re in a good mood.”

“Always. What are you going to teach me today, sensei?” I teased, making him chuckle.  He started me out reviewing what I’d learned in the last lesson--three days ago--and once I’d done that, he put his own hands on the higher keys and began to teach me a couple simple songs. At my look of horror after a particularly large chunk of a melody, he put a hand over mine, pressing the keys softly and helping me to realize that it wasn’t as hard as I was making it seem. I chuckled sheepishly, following his lead once he let my hand go, folding his own hands in his lap. After playing through the notes a few times, it started to come a little easier, the melody not as stilted as it had been before. “Aaah, I’m getting it!” I threw my arms around him for a split second, letting go when I realized what I’d done. To cover my embarrassment a little, I gave him a wink, grinning with my tongue between my teeth. “Just watch, I’m gonna be a  _ real  _ pro like you soon enough!”

He looked at me, lips parted in surprise, eyes slightly widened before chuckling and patting the top of my head. “First, you have to get the hang of these easy songs. We’ll talk about your professional status after that.” 

“Aha, deal,” I said with a laugh.  I turned back to the piano, plinking at the keys absent-mindedly.  “Thanks, though. For taking this time.” 

“It’s...fun,” he said after a moment. “You’re a good student. You pick up on things a lot faster than I initially expected.”

I wrinkled my nose at him. “I’m an okay learner.” 

“You’ve done well,” he agreed.

“To be fair, I have a really patient teacher,” I added. “Who probably should get a medal for not getting mad at me.”

“You’ve done nothing for me to be upset with you,” he said. “I made mistakes when my grandfather was teaching me piano. The same mistakes you’re making, I’m sure.”

“Good to know,” I said with a smile at him. I tapped my jaw with my index finger in mock thought. “Maybe when I pick this up I’ll get Natsuki to teach me viola. Eventually I’ll be a one-woman band!”

“You’re ambitious,” he said.

“It’s hard not to be inspired by so many talented people around me,” I shrugged sheepishly. “I’ll leave the singing to you all, though, I’m...not vocally gifted. Or, at least I’m not nearly as talented as you are.” 

He nodded, eyes twinkling. “I see.” 

I giggled to myself. “I’ll probably slip every now and then, though, the more comfortable I get with you guys.”

“That’s fine,” he said. “If you’re enjoying yourself, there’s nothing wrong with it.” 

“I sound like dying cattle, but I appreciate the sentiment,” I joked.  

He grinned, putting his hands back on the piano. “Shall we continue?” 

At my nod, he began teaching me the second part of the melody from before, then tying it all together. It was a little more difficult this time, but with gentle prodding I was able to play through once, twice, and I looked at him with bright, wide eyes.   _ Did I really just..?!!! _ I looked back at the piano, running through it again slowly, smiling to myself when I got it.  He nodded in satisfaction, patting my shoulder. “You’ve done well. You don’t have to keep playing. Come back Friday afternoon, same time?”

“You bet,” I said with a nod, making a mental note. I’d put it in my phone’s calendar as soon as I left, but doubted I’d forget it at all.  Friday was only two days away, and it made me happy to know he wanted me back so soon to continue. Soon, I’d be able to play an entire song through and start on my second.  The next one we had planned was something a little more complex, but he assured me he had faith that I’d pick that one up just like I had the current song. With him being the professional, and with the passion he had for the instrument, I believed him wholeheartedly. “Thanks again, Masa!! I’ll have to do something super special for you in exchange for lessons.”

“You don’t have to,” he said softly, but I saw the light pink of a blush creep over his face.  

“Ah, but you know I’m gonna,” I giggled, standing up from the piano bench.  “I’m gonna go say goodbye to Natsuki before I get roped into cooking dinner for Syo, but it was really fun practicing with you!”

“It was,” he said with a smile, lifting a hand in a wave as I walked out the door.  I heard him plinking at the piano as I headed down the hall. 

Walking into the kitchen, I was greeted with a pungent aroma coming from what looked to be a batch of cupcakes and was relieved Natsuki’s back was turned so he wouldn’t see the wrinkling of my nose.  My stomach turned just slightly, making me just what in the world he’d used in his batter  _ this _ time. I looked at the disastrous-smelling cupcake sitting on the counter, looking up at Natsuki’s back and back to the cupcake, grimacing and forcing a smile on my face for his benefit.  “Hey, Natsuki!!”

“Kana!” he said, whirling around, his eyes wide. He smiled brightly, jumping over the counter with ease to scoop me up in a hug, rubbing his cheek against the top of my head. “I didn’t want to interrupt you and Masa, but I’m glad you stopped to say hi!”

“Of course I would,” I said with a smile, wrapping my arms around his back, toying with the frills on the pink heart-covered apron he was wearing. “I feel bad, though, you looked like you were busy.”

“I was making cupcakes! Want one?” He said, pulling back to look down at me excitedly. 

I smiled half-heartedly, my stomach already protesting against the foul-smelling thing, but my love for the man won out and I found myself nodding. “Of course I do.  You’re amazing in the kitchen.” The last part wasn’t  _ exactly _ a lie...he  _ was _ amazing.  Just...amazingly  _ bad _ . “What did you put in them?”

“Um…” He thought for a moment. “Chocolate. Sugar. Flour, eggs and salt...Soy sauce, mustard.” He paused a little more.   _ There’s more? _ “Lemon juice.”  _ That’s not so bad...I think. _ “Natto. And blue cheese.” He smiled. “I wanted to give it a surprise!”

_ That’ll be a surprise, all right… _ “Sounds...interesting.”

He nodded, not seeming to notice or care about my tone, turning to grab a finished cupcake from the counter. “Say aaaah~!”

Feeling trapped, I opened my mouth, a blush spreading from my toes at the thought of him getting caught feeding me.  He put the cupcake up to my lips and the first thing I tasted was the sweetness of the icing he’d used.  _ Thankfully, that hasn’t been tampered with…  _ A second later, I was biting into the actual cake, which tasted as foul as it smelled.  My head and stomach conflicted with each other--did I want to throw up or not?--before my eyes rolled back into my head and my vision went black, knees giving out from under me.  

“Ah, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Natsuki said, leaning over me. I noticed I was laying on the common room couch, and wondered how long I’d been out.   His eyebrows started to knit in worry. “You shouldn’t overwork yourself!”

I fought the urge to raise an eyebrow at him.  Instead, I nodded at him, laughing sheepishly. “I’ll be more careful.” I didn’t  _ really _ want to tell him that his awful-tasting cupcake had literally knocked me on my ass.  Since I hadn’t been taken to the hospital, I probably hadn’t been out long, but it was enough to worry him, and he believed it was due to overwork on my part.  While it was true I had been staying up way too late working on deadlines before coming to play piano with Masato, it obviously wasn’t the reason I passed out. However, I didn't have the heart to correct him. “Sorry for worrying you, Natsuki, I’m fine. Really.” 

His hand was on my forehead again before stroking my bangs away from my face. “As long as you’re sure. I don’t want you to pass out again. You need rest.”

I nodded. “I’ll try not to let it happen again, yeah? I don’t like that look on your face.” I pushed behind me to sit up straight, rubbing my hand over my eyes before smiling at him. “Chin up. I’m fine.”

“Want me to walk you home?” he asked softly, a hand on my shoulder. 

“If you want to,” I said with a smile. 

The front door opened, a dark haired man with a white fedora and a bright grin walking in. Natsuki looked up and after a moment grinned just as brightly. “Rei-chan!”

“Aa, Nacchan~!” He looked at me, gray eyes twinkling. “Who is this pretty girl?”

My face turned red as I bit my lip. “I’m Kana Kijimuta.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Kii,” he said, waving.  

I waved back tentatively. “It’s nice to meet you, too. Reiji Kotobuki, right? I’ve seen you on TV before.”

“Bingo~!” He said, sitting down on the other side of me. He leaned in close to my ear. “Are you Nacchan’s girlfriend? He’s got good taste.” 

I blinked, scooting back into Natsuki a little harder than I meant to, my face a brilliant shade of red. I shook my head wildly. “O-of course not! We’re just friends. Is all.” I chuckled nervously. “Good friends, though.” 

He winked at me. “Your secret is safe with me,” he teased. 

“N-no secrets,” I stammered. 

He laughed, patting the top of my head. “You’re cute. You should stick around, okay?”

“She’s been around for the last 2 months, you just haven’t been here,” said Tokiya as he walked past Reiji and into the kitchen.  He opened the fridge, grabbing a cold bottle of water. 

“Toki!”

Peeking at the expression on Tokiya’s face, I giggled. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.  Come to think, that wasn’t much different than Tokiya’s normal expression, though I knew he had to be soft somewhere in there...Everyone else seemed to adore him.  Admittedly, I hadn’t put much of an effort into getting to know him. “Hi, Reiji.”

Reiji tipped his hat at me as he got up to bother Tokiya, and I looked at Natsuki with a smile. “He’s really...energetic.”

Natsuki nodded. “He is,” he agreed. “He’s a lot of fun to be around.” 

I smiled. “I’m looking forward to getting to know him.” I sighed, rubbing my face. “But I think I’d better be getting home.” 

“I’ll walk you,” he said, nodding at me. 

On my way out the door, Reiji once again tipped his hat in my direction, and I gave him a friendly wave back.  My heart fluttered at meeting yet another celebrity, though I hated to admit I wasn’t as much a fan of his group, Quartet Night as I was of STARISH. However, he seemed to be really friendly, and I was excited to get to know him. 


End file.
